I am a basket case. M decided to move out. Said we "sheltered" him, that he was never happy, and this wasnt his "lifestyle". Well he is gone. I am sad he is choosing this path. I cried after he was gone (still kinda am). Before M left he said, "I just wanted to say thank you for all you guys did for me, for taking me in and everything. Thank you, and I love you guys" I held back tears until I made some phone calls then let them lose. I am feeling heart broken for him. If the women he moved in with would have told him no to deal with it at home we would have gotten through it. But we told him we aren't going to be a revolving door, he cannot move in and out when he chooses.
All because we caught him in lies (such as cocaine, stealing from Uncle, and sleeping with his sister's babysitter) we could have gotten through and wouldnt let him bring his dog here. I am so sad. All this past week I had been finding random thoughts like "when M is gone....we can have his room back as a nursery, spend less on gas/groceries, enjoy more time together as a couple" And I kept stopping myself and saying "No, M is living here. It is the best place for him. It is where he is staying. This is his home." I had NO CLUE where the thoughts were coming from but I think God was preparing me. Because this hurts. I feel like I am grieving a loss. I dont get it.
On top of it all I am overanalyzing everything because I am 10dpo. Crying...hormones? Bbs hurt...pregnant? UGH! =(
I love you ladies. Thanks for listening to my blabbering
