Often things strike my heart and want to come bursting forth. They come spilling out onto the page, or computer screen. With ink filling pages or my fingers flying across the keyboard, my mind going a million miles a minute, and my heart crying out to be heard. Here is where you’ll find those things, my little notes on life.
I told my OB it was a loss but they still wanted me to repeat beta and progesterone. Wait for these numbers.....
Hcg 16.3 (from 53ish)
Progesterone 2.0
Still not bleeding quite yet. Over this crap let me tell you. Exhausted still and just over the waiting. Doesn't help that I am now getting to work at 6 instead of 630. Enter zombie mode.
I think I passed. I did the little cheat to where you try to re register. And it wouldn't let me so I should have passed. Tomorrow I can get the "unofficial" results for $8. I am paying. Also today is my final for my med surge class. Eeek. Not looking forward to Psych this summer though.
Back to the boards. They are intense with their check in policy. They checked my palm print like 2x on each side and then also when I left! I wrote on my board (you are videotaped btw) I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. The exam shut off at 85 questions which is the minimum for the PN NCLEX. So I knew I either passed or failed with flying colors! Praying and believing I passed :-) And the proctor for the exam gave me a high five because she pointed at my board and said "Honey that is the truth right there!"
So anyways bring on the pay raise! Whoop whoop!
I had been working on another blog post on how God had chose to bless us again. Pregnancy #10. But it turned out to be loss #9. My hug came back at 58.4 or some cap after dark hpts. Deciding to just believe that God is good and faithful. He gives and takes away, but blessed be the name of our Lord. I caved and got blood work because I knew we needed it to be able to schedule an ultrasound. Should have just waited until 6 weeks and save myself that money. Oh well.
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Well ladies and gentlemen (ok I doubt there are any gentlemen lol) my suspicions that my residents may have known something that I didn't know yet turned out to be true. I have taken 3 tests thus far. OK more like 5 with the 2 88c Walmart ones and the IC. All cheap tests showed a shadow line that I couldn't tell if it was an evap or the start of a fpl.
Turns out fpl! If all goes as hoped my EDD will be around January 10th 2015. But I am suspecting a Christmas baby.
I still haven't told James. Kind of waiting for it to be blazing dark. Have a feeling this one is sticking around because I thought we were going to get a Christmas blessing but thought it was going to be pregnancy then.
Changes my plans a little bit of having paid maternity leave but it's okay the struggle financially will be worth it and hopefully with starting a better paying job we will be able to save up more or pay off some of our debt before then.
My plan is to not get any blood work done until 6 weeks I already have all the lovenox I need, and I think with breastfeeding I cannot do progesterone. So as long as things go as hoped. I will get blood work done around 6 weeks and then get an ultrasound :-)
Between not feeling well about how I look due to my residents saying something about being pregnant. ...and how bloated/constipated/exhausted I am I will be a little disappointed if AF shows tomorrow. Thinking I need to buy a FRER. oh well we shall see eventually right?
I am about over this darn constipation though let me tell you! Been my norm lately and it is killing me! Taking another iron tonight and if I go easier tomorrow it is going to solidify (well hopefully soften hahaha) for me the fact that it is related to low iron somehow.
Tomorrow is my LPN boards! Wish me luck! Then Thursday is my Final followed by last day of clinical Friday. Then orientation Monday for becoming a nurse at our facility!!!! Eeek! And a substantial pay raise whoop whoop! Too bad my mom's hours are changing and I think the pay raise is mostlikely going to be for nothing because we will need to start paying for daycare :-( blah. I was hoping to pick up a bill for mom as her payment for watching Matthew but thinking if she gets offered the full time position it isnt going to happen.
Anyways that is all for now! :-)
Weight loss. Since the Iron supplement I am down to 195.2 (saw 194.2 one day but decided it didn't count until I saw it again). I had been feeling good and decided for a bit I would just maintain and then hard core go back at it and get the weight and inches off by adding exercise.
Then today happened. I got asked by 2 people when I was having a baby. The first, a resident patted my belly and said something about a baby coming. And the second person asked when my next was due.
So unless they know something I do not know (I am exhausted but been staying up late due to being busy) I am still too fat to be content.
And as out of shape I am I can imagine a pregnancy though it would be accepted with open arms and much joy...I can also imagine all the additional aches and pains.
Not pumping iron but iron the supplement.
I may have said something earlier about struggling with constipation a lot lately. James kept telling me take your iron. And I kept saying no it is in my prenatal it shouldn't be the issue. (Like it was my first year in college where the chocolate stimulant and the nasty drink both did not help but then my iron did. . .).
Miralax wasn't helping. So I got desperate and used a suppository and felt relief but not as much as I was expecting. So I caved and took iron. 4 days in a row and 4 days of poop. Lol
So now I am wondering if I have an iron deficiency or borderline anemia and it has a factor in all the losses I have had. I do but I am going to keep taking the iron even if is every other day because 1) the constipation lately has been hell and 2) maybe I will get pregnant without another loss due to better iron absorption? Hey one can hope!
