Bump Update!

I am pretty much using the same post for my update on my family blog, so if you read both, sorry! Can you say lazy a little bit today?

Little man you are one day away from viability!! I did some research and you would be considered a micro preemie, you'd have eyelashes, and eyebrows. But your little eyes would still be fused shut. You'd need help to breath due to premature lung development, and it would be a long journey in the NICU. You'd be about the length of a corn cob, and weigh around a pound and a half (amazing that I am carrying you inside of me and you grew from smaller than a pin head to how big you are now! And some days by how much movement I feel you definitely feel SO much bigger!). One of the factors that impact survival at this age is birth weight, which makes me so happy that you were in the 55th percentile at last appointment, and were guessed to weigh 1lb 4 oz already. They say that babies that weigh more than 2lbs 3 oz do much better than those that weigh less.

BUT the good thing is, God has answered my prayers to have a cervix of steel, and you are safe and sound inside my womb still! I truly believe I do not need to worry about preterm delivery (especially this early) but I love being informed and educated about EVERYTHING it seems. If I don't know something, Google becomes my best friend. I hope you have this same craving for education and learning random facts about random things. I pray you will excel in school, and you will love life and learning something new every day.

On to the bump photos...here they are! I am smiling even though I feel like a hillbilly because my front tooth's bonding that fixed a chip in my left front tooth fell out! It is horrible. And quite embarrassing. You cannot tell in these pictures, but when I laugh or talk, it is not pretty. I am so blessed to have good teeth, minus this one chip. I pray for you that you have strong, healthy, cavity resistant, teeth! Right now it feels so awkward to smile, to eat, and to talk. Not fun! And to top it off, I cannot get into the dentist until Friday, and my first day of class is Thursday!! Seriously, what dentist goes on vacation? :-P

You can tell this is the side little guy sits on
if you look at me facing this way and compare it to me facing the other way

See! Not quite as big looking! lol
But look how long my hair is getting! :-D I LOVE it!

Little man is definitely pushing is little butt out more during this picture,
making my belly more pronounced.
I also have been trying to keep up on drinking more water
And eating healthier...weight this week shows it! :-)
Which makes me VERY happy!!
(and I have definitely been more regular in the bathroom...which is AWESOME not gonna lie!)

I also realized I never shared the ultrasound pics from last week's appointment so here they are....




ALSO, I THINK I finally got a video that shoes my belly moving some. Not as good as it has been, but I got him finally. I will try uploading it, it should be on my bottom left hand side of belly (note this is the side I didn't have a uterus on, it has grown that much in that direction!) at around 3-4 seconds and somewhere around 10 seconds.

Seriously, I look like a hillbilly...

Remember when I told you my front tooth had gotten fixed in June?

Well that entire filling fell out today. Not part of it. ALL of it.

I am getting fed up with this, and seriously contemplating a veneer.

All I need is a pair of overalls and a piece of straw hanging out of my mouth with this hillbilly grin and I would fit right in, pregnant and everything.

Even better news? My dentist is on vacation and comes back FRIDAY. I have to work tonight, tuesday, go to class Thursday, and then work thursday night before I can get it fixed.

F My Life. My smile was the ONE thing I always loved about myself and now it is screwed up. I give up. This blows.

See it is horrid...

Bad Dreams and Other Craziness.

So first of all, I have to say Pregnancy brain is truly getting to me. I managed to pay a bill that I was (and thought I had waited) waiting to pay, because I needed to buy my lovely lady jock strap. Which ensued in a negative bank account. Fun, Fun, Fun! :-( Not.

Blah! Anyways, so this morning I got woke up from my phone. And then managed to fall asleep much to my son's dismay. He was active and practicing boxing or swimming in my belly. Only to be woke up three hours later to the most terrifying dream.

My SIL and her hubby were cheating on each in other. I found out they were divorcing and it made me so upset my water broke. Which lead to losing the baby. I knew it wasn't true due 1.) how small the baby was, and 2.) I cannot forsee the cheating actually happening. But it broke my heart in my dream. It was horrid. And I hope that is the only loss dream I have to endure this whole pregnancy. Because I am seriously surprised I didn't wake up crying, my heart was just pounding like crazy and then I felt my tummy to make sure little guy's bump was still there, and he gladly kicked back. Thank goodness.

I am not sure if I have told you this either. Little man has been SO active lately that you can see his kicks and punches from the outside. Like a mini earthquake from the inside. lol SO much that Saturday night my husband FINALLY got to witness it, from across the room! Our son truly was cracking me up. When he gets to moving like that, I just giggle and smile. It brings SO much joy to my heart. Then Sunday, my mother in law got to see my belly move. It is utterly amazing, I really think that if I did not have an anterior placenta you would be able to see distinct little hands and feet!! So strong already! Especially when he headbutts my bladder it is like "Oh! I need to go, now!" lol

Anyways, I have made some goals to achieve this week and after writing on our family blog I intend to start them. They include:

• Keeping the kitchen clean (such a small task to some, but the table and counters end up being a catch all)
• Reading my Bible every day (no matter how long, but to have my head in The Bible, working on memorizing some scripture again)
• Exercising 3x a week (now that I have a pregnancy yoga dvd from my sister in law I need to utilize it, and maybe walk on my days off).

Next week if these three go well, I plan on adding one more thing a week. I really want to start being more effective with my time at home. This tired lazy woman needs to end! Because there is so much to do before school starts Thursday, before the baby comes, and before I start the nursing program back up. 

I do have a vacation in the works. Hubby, friends, my sister(s) and I are working on planning a trip to an outlet mall and cabelas for the first weekend in October. It will be good to do some shopping, and to just have a weekend away. 

Allergies and Post Nasal Drip

They are kicking my butt this week. Tuesday I was sneezing, and nose was bipolar, didn't know whether it wanted to be stuffy or runny.

The past days since I have had post nasal drip and not too much going on out of nose.

I am already taking a daily allergy med, and using rhinoquart aqua. There really isn't much else I can do. I even try snuffing up water and then blowing nose to help soothe any irritation in sinuses.

I have been keeping well hydrated to make sure mucus stays thin, but I swear there is so much it gags me at times. It is just bountiful and clear. And GROSS.

I am going to attempt a regular old mucinex to try thinning it out more, and maybe a hot cup of tea to help break up anything and soothe my sore throat.

I hate to say it, but I know the signs, soon...I will not have a voice if this keeps up.

And my first day of class is the 30th. And how am I supposed to work when I will need to talk to residents who are half deaf? This sucks.

Badly.

On a side note, I got my lovely lady jock strap. I am in debate about putting the highly embarassing pictures of me in my underwear with it over them on here so you can see the amazing agony I go through wearing it.

Amazing because my groin and hoo-ha truly do not hurt or swell up too much when wearing it.

Agony because it isn't comfortable AT ALL. the hard elastic rubs on your inner legs. the sizing of it sucked. I saw the medium when it got pulled out of the package and said, "I think I'm going to need a large." And then saw the size of the large and said, "wow. Really? This looks two sizes bigger." Poor planning on the company's side. I am in between sizes so I went for the Large so my ass wouldn't have muffin top. It was disgusting. Just what a pregnant lady needs, to feel even more uncomfortable in her own skin....no thanks, so I got a large and have had to adjust the straps all the way to the front part. which means it is super bulky between the legs and rubs. Fun stuff.

Time to go take mucinex and a cup of tea, I am thinking the delicious apple cinnamon one I have...tastes like red hots, and is quite yummy. Hopefully it helps!!

22w6d, and Dr Appt

Hello Belly! This is proof there is a belly, I do NOT just look fat
(this is for the co-worker that said I didn't look pregnant last week, that she looked more pregnant than me and wasn't)

Look at my white legs...yikes! not so sure about how shorts look, but let me tell you...
They have a full belly panel and are COMFORTABLE.

My view from up top! :-)

Seriously, belly is getting bigger! :-)
I am going to add a page up top with these so you can see the belly grow as you scroll :-D

Ultrasound was yesterday and it went pretty well.

There was crankiness because I had FIVE people with me. Yes. Excessive. 

I really thought my Mom would end up not going due to my dad saying little sister couldn't go.

Which would have crossed out 3 people pretty much

But then he decided to be nice, and say yes. 

Lets just say, the doctors office was annoyed (and so was I after my mom said, "That's it?" at the end of the ultrasound, I am sure that sat WONDERFULLY with the ultrasound tech, who was my favorite up until this time....*sigh*) and talked to me like a kid about only bringing ONE not TWO but ONE person from here on out. "You will have lots of ultrasounds so just cycle them through." 

F-That. I want my husband to go with me. And if one other person comes they can kiss my but, five was extreme, and I would never do it again. Because then my mom kinda acted cranky or something for not being able to do something with littlest sister, but I ALWAYS have a doctors appointment after my ultrasound. Bleck. Annoyed much, yes, allergies are not helping irritability any.

Anyways, the number of people was excessive especially since I now know how often I will OFFICIALLY be having ultrasound.

This is how conversation went, and I will QUOTE as best as I can, and this is with my usual favorite doctor...but she was HIGHLY on my nerves as well.... 

bold = me

Normal = Dr

"I just wanted to let you know we need you to only bring ONE person next time. There were too many."

"I really thought there were only going to be one or two this time around, but then everyone was able to come."

"Not TWO, but ONE. Doctors orders."

"Well honestly, when I asked them, it was because I was told this one was going to be my last ultrasound."

"Well, they must not have read your chart. Was it a receptionist or scheduler?"

"It was a doctor."

"Dr. S?"

"Nope, Dr. L"

"Huh" 

(obviously, she was not fully believing me. But I had asked them before apt with Dr S)

"Yes, she said that 24 weeks would be last u/s because cervix looked good and I would be past viability."

"Well, some doctors do do it differently, but this is your plan:

*2 weeks (25w) another cervical length check and look at profile (baby was still too stubborn)

*Then the following 2 weeks (27w) your last cervical length check and look at fetal growth

*32 weeks (or about 4 weeks later) will be another fetal growth check (once a month), and begin weekly NST & amniotic fluid level check via u/s

*36 weeks also begins heparin 2x a day instead of the lovenox, because it has a shorter half life and will allow you to get an epidural if you want it, which I assume with varicose vein you will."

"How does varicose vein affect delivery?"

"Where you have it, it shouldn't. I have seen them where they look like a bag of worms, your's isn't that bad really, but it will get worse with each additional pregnancy."

"Ok, because I was planning on going natural if at all possible. I may change my tune but I don't always do so great with medicine, and I don't want a big needle in my back."

"Well it depends on how afraid of the needle you are. But with the varicose veins, an epidural would help immensely to help you control your pushing. It would reduce chances of tearing or rupturing because you would be able to slow down and breath and not push instead of barreling right through delivery." 

(my interpretation: You are going to be pestered for an epidural. SO I switch questions)

"Will I be limited for laboring positions?"

"Due to your chronic hypertension, you will have to be on a monitor constantly. You can be in bed or on a birthing ball."

(Translation: labor at home for as long as possible. I wanted to try the shower to help with labor. Please pray for no excessive snow on day I go into labor so we can feel comfortable waiting at home longer.)

There was more, but that's the majority.

Lots of u/s to go pending on how long I make it...up to 10 more!!

I got the feeling my doctor is thinking I can make it to full term now due to length cervix has stayed 

(4.48cm this time!! Cervix of steel is BACK! and now prayer is being said for it to soften when it is supposed to)

 but she said due to varicose vein in vulva I may have to cut back hours at work eventually. BOO!

Anyways here are facts from u/s

Baby measured: 23w1d (right on track from LMP)

Baby weighs approximately 1lb 4oz

Baby let us see arms, spine, legs, eyes, nose, ear, and top lip...that's about it.

And I swear once his hand looked funky...like peace sign almost.

First measurement of belly said 24w1d and I was like HOLY TOOTS! but then the rest were right on track.

Baby: in 55th percentile overall. Still head down, and covered face with hands (just like dad does...)

Cervix: 4.48cm

Belly: measuring 25wks

Momma's Weight: 199.6lbs 

I told Dr I weighed 191-192 when I got pregnant (per my scale), 

which means almost a 8-9lb gain. They didn't say anything so it must be okay still...

they say 15+ for obese women

I have 17 weeks to go!!

Nursery! (Photo Heavy)

Beginning of painting the Nursery! Needs 1 or 2 more coats of yellow!
Below the window to the left will be the baby's crib,
Still undecided where dresser/changer and glider will go.
Would also like to add a shelf/bench for baby books and such.

Corner of nursery.

Our very lucky baby's closet! Big and spacious

I bought 2 onesies that after the gender reveal
This is one of them

And this is the other one :-)

I think my sister bought this one...
sadly, I didn't remember it when I opened the closet today!

And this is on the butt of the pants

I want to do something like this in the bottom of the closet I think
I found it on Pinterest, but you can see it here,
Unless we do not get a dresser, then there may be some Sterilite drawer units

Moving around the room from closet

Continued moving around the room..

This is going to go on the wall between door to this corner,
thinking about getting sleeping monkey flipped so he can go on branch where hanging one is at
going to have to make a cut in the tree so it can fit above and below chair rail
And may get the branch and that hanging monkey reversed as well.
So the dresser/changer  can be away from the door
 yet, be in between the tree and branch closer to the wall!
Found it here on etsy.

Instead of the leaves on the tree above,
I am thinking these alphabet leaves!!
Cute, no?
Again found on etsy, here

Not very good on lighting but these are the colors
A little unsure of the green, but going to wait until we have a bigger space painted ..
and then decide.
There will be a dark brown chair rail that will match the color of door and trim in room.
Also debating about a very very light blue colored ceiling and inside of closet.

I know I said I had decided on a crib, but I have been true to who I am
And become undecided. lol
This one is Summer Infant's Brayden. 4-1
It was set up at BabysRUs and it was SO solid!
It's price is $299, but regardless of crib I plan on buying it when they are 20% off on site
and loading VIB card so I can get an additional 10% off essentially because it would be added to the card.
Making us pay around $220 with tax.

Then we are planning on getting the dresser/changer pictured on left.
Again, quite solid and just what I was looking for, something that can grow with the child!
And not be only used for a changing table.
This is 399. And will follow same plan as above.
Bringing our cost down to around $300 with tax.

This crib is DaVinci's Kalani's 4-1
Pros of this one is it comes with the toddler rail,
I can order the conversion kit right online for full sized,
and it is about $50 cheaper than the one above.
Cons are I do not get to see it set up to see sturdiness and such.
I truly walked into babysRus planning on NOT picking one off the floor because I love this one so much
But I was wrong...

Varicose Vein...

From my groin to my crotch. No joke. OUCH! It hurts!! After the doctor's office sending me this email reply "Yes, it is normal." That's it nothing else. I still waited for a phone call because on call doc said that he thought it should be looked at. I took a nap, and slept through my alarm. Woke up at 1pm and called at 130 when they got off lunch. Was told they couldnt get me in, and talked to nurse. Who told me to ask my husband to look at it.

Yes. She said that. My hubby says, "Isnt that what doctors are for?" So he looks when he gets home, unwillingly on my part. How humbling this is. He didnt see anything on crotch, except crazy swelling but I am sure it is there some where...then he noticed where my leg meets groin there is a lovely blue ropey vein. FML!!

So next week I will be purchasing the lovely lady jock strap along with a bella band or possibly maternity spanx. Because reviews of the V2 though it does give relief from swelling and pain in groin/crotch area, it also gives you a quad butt and extra love handles, and isnt too comfy (cuts into your butt and belly at times..) I hear. Joy. $70 bucks. Which might be covered by insurance, making it $14 instead.

While I imagine it is going to feel like a midevil torture device on me, I can tel you...it isnt very comfortable with a swollen crotch either!!

I am in disbelief that this has to happen to me too. I feel emotional about it and cry and think, really God...why? Am I that funny to watch endure such things? Am I your comedy show up there?

Then little man kicks, and though it doesn't make me forget I have an achey crotch it does remind me how incredibly blessed I am. His kicks are getting more frequent. And it is quite lovely to feel. They make me laugh. :-)

Yesterday night the TV was up loud and little man was active as all get out. Probably helped that I had just drank cranberry grape juice. Anyways, we were watching The Lovely Bones. And my sister and husband refused to come sit by me and watch the movie with their hand on my belly to be able to feel the kicks. I told them I am not offering the opportunity to them any more. Seriously, he was having his own dance party in there!! And they were too lazy to move next to me. I promise varicose vein in your genitals isn't contagious by touching my belly! :-)

But they truly missed out. Because he was putting on one heck of a show! He is worth a disgusting swollen labia. And bruised belly from daily shots. And the pain it took to get here. Grow baby grow! But please be nice to momma from here on out...

(17w5d max then little man will be forced to meet the world. All I ask is that he stay put til at least 36 weeks...so I will feel fine with him choosing to vacate early)

This Week...Seriously??!?!?!

Ok lets start at the beginning of this week...

Sunday - 8/12 WONDERFUL day at the zoo with family!

Monday - 8/13 marked James and I being together for 7 years!! We started dating on Friday August 13th, 2005 :-)

Tuesday - 8/14 Ate some delicious sweet corn on the cob. And was too lazy and left the cob on my plate, on our end stand. And went to bed.

Wednesday - 8/15 Dog pukes. Three times. Looks weird. But don't think anything of it. THEN dog pukes when gone. And guess what it looks like? Corn cob. No joke. Find out it can cause blockage. Begin praying for poop.

Thursday - 8/16 Dog POOPS!! woohoo! And then throws up more cob, but food he ate stays down (thank goodness!) Vet says to keep an eye on him. Make sure eating, drinking, pooping, and not acting too lethargic. I also listened to bowel sounds and they were present every where I listened. Still praying on more poop (he hasn't since this morning).

THEN ready for this...I have had cramps and been thinking it felt a little weird down "there" today. After showering I go potty and feel down there. And by golly guess what...? My right labia is swollen. So I had to call in and now I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. That's right for a swollen crotch. So it is either from pregnancy in general or could be from hernia.

Just shoot me now. How embarrassing. I cannot do anything normal. Couldn't get pregnant without issues. Couldn't have normal reproductive parts. So it would be fitting to have crazy issues with this pregnancy.

So initially they wanted me to this (due to low pressure):

Prenatal Cradle

But due to crazy straps I was going to buy this (or just try the bella band but due to taking dog to vet last week NEITHER has happened when I thought it would):

Hip Brace

NOW due to my freaking crazy body the doctor recommended this on the phone:

V2 Supporter

Hip/V2 Combo

OR 

Shoot me now. Please. Really. It's like a female jock strap. 

For a swollen crotch. 

Due to pressure from little man. 

So I had to call in. And lose 100 bucks, because I have a swollen labia. I looked at it in the mirror. Bad choice. Makes me afraid that my vajajay will never be the same at all. Gah!

At least little dude has been active so I know he is okay. And my fingers are not swollen. Although at this point, I might trade it for my swollen crotch....

21w6d Bump & Missed u/s Pics

So today I got to see my belly move from my baby boy having his own private dance party (well not so private any more because I could see my belly physically move!!).

My husband still hasn't had the chance to feel the baby moving, but now that I can see the baby moving from outside, I really think that it won't be too far away. Next time I am going to try to video tape it!

I also realized I never posted the u/s pics from my impromptu appointment so here are those...

My nephew calls this the "scary" face and he is kind of right! lol

Ultrasound of Gender

No denying it! :-)

Reality...

James looked at me on the way home from the zoo (a few pictures to come!) And said, "I am finally starting to get excited because it is feeling more real."

Enough to bring a big smile to my face and joy in my heart. Because while it feels real to me, he has yet to feel a kick. He sees my belly expanding but even if it feels large and in charge to me I'm not HUGE yet (though I have gained 8lbs now....gah! 18 weeks to go (and 1 or 2 days) maybe I can make it through without gaining more than original start weight when I began exercising and watching what I ate). I said max I wanted to gain was 15. 7lbs in 18 weeks? Maybe! I am going to be a better girl with eatting habits from here on out.

Anyways, James and I also got to talking about how surprised we were our baby is a boy. We are having a son! His brother has 3 adorable little girls so we thought we were going to follow suit with the girl streak. We currently have the ONLY male from a hillard male in the family, growing safely and soundly in my belly.

And then I got to thinking and talking to God about what a keeper this llittle boy will be. He will grow up knowiing how to treat women, he'll be able to fix things around the house, if anything like the both of us he will have a musical streak. A sensitive side, a great sense of humor and loyalty. And I am sure he will be a handsome little fella!

(Though I did have a dream I thought the baby was ugly, how sad!! LOL I am sure as a mother that is impossible, but due to my family joking and wishing worst family traits on this little being the dream happened. Big ears, big nose...dumbo in the making.)

I do hope to one day have a little girl, but one step at a time. Currently God has blessed us with a little boy and I am looking forward to being his Mommy!

To Do...
Paint the Nursery
Look for room theme I like (thinking jungle)
REGISTER <<<Ahhh!
Research which cloth diapers to try
Start setting up nursery...how amazing to think about!

Photo Heavy Post on Gender Reveal

I am tired and getting ready for bed but here are some of the pictures...

Pink Lemonade! Loved the lights on bottom :-)

Blue punch I found on pinterest (1 thing of Hawaiian punch, 1 2L of vernors, 1 thing of white grape juice and 1 container of pineapple sherbert)

Our cake

decorations

Cake table. Notice the butterflies on boxes...these were the money boxes for voting.
Votes went in glass jars with flowers on top.
Totals were 50 pink, 30 blue.
We were wrong, James and I included. This baby will be the first Hillard boy from a male in the family.

By the votes...Old Wives Tales & Voting Rules

Side view of cake after served to guests

Happy Daddy and Mommy! Hubby is excited and in disbelief that he is going to have a son.
And I am feeling a bit unprepared. Thankful for nephew and day care kids that allowed me to practice on them!
I know little girls better than little boys!

Punch went fast. Good day.
The End.

Long Awaited Bump Update & Party Details

Sorry I have been SO busy lately. I am currently procrastinating on cleaning the house for our party on Saturday. Current guest list for party is at 37 people. With an additional possible 11-13 people coming.

I ordered the half a sheet cake today, it serves 48. I am contemplating adding on a dozen cupcakes as well.

The sheet cake is going to be marble with colored butter cream frosting in middle, covered in whipped cream frosting. Decorated in pink and blue polka dots and question marks. Still working on the wording for it...

And if I order cupcakes they will be chocolate, with chocolate frosting. With colored cream filling. (Doesn't that sound DELICIOUS!!) If I change my mind we may see about doing half and half on cake. half marble, half chocolate. If it is cheaper we may get a full sheet cake sadly...because if I know James (and myself!) we may invite people last minute in moments of delirious excitement ;-) LOL

Anyways...here are the photos!

I also wanted to share my amazing idea (ok kind of stolen a little bit from pinterest) for our gender party.

I am purchasing a book, and I am going to have guests sign the front inside cover. On the back cover I am going to write the baby a letter about my feelings that morning and the journey thus far.

Here is the book I am going to purchase...

You can purchase the book HERE

And if you go to above link you can also look at a few of the inside pages of the book.

It brings tears to my eyes every time I read it. I can remember first reading it. I was post second miscarriage, working at the day care. And a little kid asked me to read it to them. Holding back tears I choked out the beginning of the story....

"Good night, sweet child," Mama said as she tucked Little Cub in.
But Little Cub wasn't quite ready to go to sleep.
"Mama, where did I come from?" she asked.
"From God," her mother answered. "Your papa and I were alone, and we wanted a baby."
"And you got me?" Little Cub asked, her voice muffled by the covers.
"Yes, my special child. God gave us you."

Does that not rip at your heart strings? Because it certainly does mine.

Because it is the truth.

 Loss after Loss God gave us the experience with THIS special child to be ours to love. 

To feel the little kicks, to watch my belly grow, to know that there is life inside of me growing healthy and strong.

If you are going through the dark road of infertility still, I wish God will fill your heart with joy as much as he has mine. And that one day, all of us will have little ones snuggled in our laps that we can read this book to, and know that it holds more meaning to us than other woman may ever know.

Because the road to a baby isn't always easy. It isn't always carefree.

Babies don't always come by accident. 

Some of us have to try. And pray. And beg God to answer our prayers.

Some of us have to endure loss after loss.

Some of us spend gobs of money for the hope of having a little one of our own.

Some of us have our faith  and relationships stretched to their limits in the journey of waiting for a baby.

We learn storks aren't real. It isn't in the water. And relaxing doesn't always help.

To those of you still on this path, I pray hope stays in your heart. That you are able to lean on God.

And that those of us that know your pain and suffering do not forget and in turn hurt you.

Even if you are a silent reader, know my heart goes out to you, and I truly feel for you.

♥