30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 23

Day 23: Favorite Movie  Favorite Smells

Day 23 was a repeat. So I inserted my own. =D

I have to say, I love making rock candy near Christmas time. I love the strong smells of all the flavors. Except peppermint...I could go without that one. But my all time favorite? Anise. That smell makes my mouth water! Just thinking about it...yumm!

My favorite aisle when shopping is the laundry detergent aisle.
My favorite laundry detergent is Purex Linen and Lilies
I love smelling Downy's different scents

I love the smell of good food cooking. Of fall. Of SPRING! I love the smell of home, outside of my mom's house. I'm not going to lie, I like the way books smell. And crayons. Bubble gum.

I love Lemon Vanilla and Twisted Peppermint from Bath and Body Works.
Cinnamon. Vanilla. Almond Flavoring (another orgasmic scent along with Anise).
James with his good smelling deoderant.
I love the smell of an old man's pipe.

I love to smell things good smelling things. LOVE to.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 20

How did this get skipped? Seriously?

Day 20: Nicknames
Oooh nicknames. As a child I was Jessie, and kind of loathed it as I grew up. Mostly because it was people the majority on my dad's side that called me it. I have gotten over it though.
I go by Jess to many. Chica to Jenny. James calls me Baby (pronounced Be-bah! lol). He also calls me childhood name calling names, we tease each other all the time, such as poopstain.
When I want to embarrass my sister Missy, I do so by calling her Missy Moo. My other sisters have nicknames too Stacey is Stacey No No, and JoAnna is JoJo. James, I call him those teasing names, but also little pet names like honey bun.
Sorry, I'm not too interesting when it comes to nicknames! James's family though...ooh boy. His dad calls his wife Crabby, and me CJ (aka Crabby Jr.). James's nickname is Arf (after his middle name Arthur), his sister is Walter (Laura) and his brother is Booger (Jay).

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 22

Day 22: What's in your purse?

I think I've said it before...I don't carry a purse because I fill it with so much junk. SO I will go grab my purse that I haven't used since January (or before then...) and bare my life from inside of my purse. no matter how embarrassing it may be...

Purse Inventory...
2 pads (I think I must have used it in January. Had to be around the time of miscarriage...)
A bag full of 5 scentsy wafers
Drapery Holder Hooks (I was supposed to return...whoops)
A pair of pink socks
Orbit Bubblemint Bubble gum
Orbit Perfectly Peach Bubble Gum
Orbit Maui Melon Mint
A 2 fiber one bars
A bottle of Meijer Brand Tylenol
An empty bottle of Advil
A green nifty little catch all tool...pliers, little knife, scissors, light, etc...you get it!
Sandwhich baggie of expired coupons
5 pens
1 clicker pencil
Bed Bath and Beyond Gift Certificate with $3.81 on it

Holiday Twist Tic Tacs
Skin Shield (Liquid Bandaid)
5 wintergreen lifesavers
Travel sized bottle of Twisted Peppermint by Bath and Body Works (my absolute FAVORITE)
Small tube of scope crest toothpaste
A shimmery silver hair band
A swipey thing for your work badge (ya know so you can pull it out...and slide it without having to take it off)
A 2 to go foil packets of Tylenol Extra Strength (obviously I was afraid to run out of the big bottle...?)
A thing of travel tissues (pocket sized)
2 Crystal light flavorings
2 koolaid fizzy flavor things
A pair of contacts
Soft Lips Chapstick
Random things like: a paper clip, a book mark, some alcohol swabs, a book of matches, foil gum wrappers, 53 cents, pencil lead, and some crumbs.

And guess what? The purse is zipped. Filled to the brim and forced to be zipped. My poor fake Prada bag. Maybe it will get some use coming up soon. I feel bad for it now.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 21

Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?

I love my hair in this photo. And the cross that James gave me our first anniversary. I cannot wait for my hair to be this long again. Why oh Why do I choose to cut it every time I get SO close?

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 19

Day 19: Something You Miss

I miss Grandpa Purdey. His pokey whiskers. I wish James could have met him. He was funny. Not a perfect man, an alcoholic that smoked, but he was a good grandpa. He would always say things like, "I love you, but that doesn't mean I have to like you." He sat through wearing a beard and a hat one year as we sat on his lap.  I miss family time with grandpa there. Watching old shows like Gilligan's Island, Bewitched, MASH, and I Dream of Jeanie. I can hear him saying, "Bahumbug."

I miss Faith, my mom's best friend. She died in her late 20s or early 30s. Leaving 5 children behind. She was fun, and always good for laughs. It was through her kids and my sisters that I learned to take care of children. That I learned how to have patience and teach them how to say things, how to count, colors, etc. And I was only in elementary school at the time. When Faith died, she died of cervical cancer. Doctors overlooked it, until the tumor was the size of a softball. No wonder it had been hurting when she would have sex, just sayin'. Women...listen to your bodies! Anyways, when she died she asked to be sprinkled at the clothes line so people would have to visit her. That was her sense of humor. She told us to wear crazy colorful clothes to her funeral instead of black. I wore a green animal print top and skirt. Boy did I get crazy looks. But they didn't know Faith like we did. She told the adults to go out for a drink at the bar that night. So many trips to the beach together. Crazy trips to McDonald's with like 10+ small fries, 20+ cheese burgers. I miss how much Mom got out and lived life with a friend by her side.

I miss the Dad I never got a chance to know. One that would have went willingly, without being asked, to all of my extra curricular activities. One that would have not told me mean and spiteful things. A dad that would tell me I was beautiful and could do whatever I set my mind too. Instead of telling me men would only want me for sex. And that when I make it big to pass on some cash to him. A father that would have treated my mother like she truly deserved. I miss the Dad that I never had. One that I know my children will have. Because I am truly blessed to have James as my husband.

♥ Jess

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 18

Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat

Hmmmmm....my favorite place to eat? I LOVE pizza (most pizza places will do). I thoroughly enjoy my mom's home cooked meals. I could probably eat some sort of mexican food every day for at least a month, and not get sick of it. I enjoy going to Red Robin for their mushroom swiss burger. Complete it with mayo, shredded lettuce, and sauteed onions and you have my ideal burger. And don't forget their deeeelicious endless fries and onion stackers with that YUMMY dip. I love Applebee's 2 for $20. And Cancun Grill in Grand Ledge.

Red Robin

Oh, and even though I've only ate their once...The Melting Pot was a fun experience. Cooking the meat in the oil at the table was fan. And the chocolate Fondue was super delicious. (Wasn't so much of a fan of the cheese...). I am hoping since we won't be making it to Niagara at this time (more on this later) that we will be able to dress up and go out to eat here. Maybe I will get to purchase a new dress! =D

The Melting Pot

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 17

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to

When? Looking forward to when?

Tonight? Seeing my husband.

September? Getting off probation at work (which means more weekends together with James! More camping and little outings next summer. Oooh and a discounted membership at the gym!). AND hopefully a letter from KCC telling me, "You have been accepted into our nursing program."

December? Buying the dress for Jenny's wedding.

January? Starting the RN program.

Sometime this winter? Getting a puppy. A friend for Jack Jack.

June 2012? Hopefully to have the foster training complete. Oh and Jenny & Matt's wedding.

Amongst all of these, I think the obvious is warranted to mention. I hope to have a belly grow round with child. To see a healthy little baby at the end of the pregnancy. To start trying again after the nursing program for our second, but hopefully have a couple little ones via foster care that are coming up for adoption.

I hope to pass nursing school with flying colors! To find a job that I love.

I look forward to a perfect honeymoon one day with James. Family vacations. Taking his family on a vacation to the beach in a large house with many rooms. Visiting England to see the Harry Potter museum. Take a trip to Hawaii, Alaska, to step foot in all 50 states.

I look forward to the day that James can farm for a living. For being debt free. To have a savings that allows us to bless others like crazy! For our kids not to have to take out crazy loans for college like we did (unless they choose to go to an Ivy league school! I was tempted by Yale when they sent me information...until I saw the cost...)

To have kids. To be a mom and all those life journeys. To watch them play softball, baseball, soccer, basketball, play piano, whatever it is that God blesses them with the ability to do. I look forward to the future, but am trying to stay content in the present.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 16

Day 16: Dream house

My Dream house? I would LOVE to say it is the one I live in, it is close...good for a starter home (or a forever home with a few fixer uppers) but no cigar. My dream house would have a master bathroom, with double vanity, a jacuzzi tub, a walk in shower. It would have an in ground pool in the backyard with a nice patio and little bar area (mostly non alcoholic drinks!), which by the way would be fenced in (mostly for safety of dogs and kiddos). There would be an area for a large garden, and flowers all over the place. A wrap around porch, except for the 2 stall attached garage. There would be gorgeous wood floors throughout most of the homes, except their would be tile in the bathrooms and carpet in the bedrooms. There would be a finished basement, complete with a movie/theater room. A LARGE main floor laundry room, complete with areas to hang up clothing and a front loading washer and dryer. 

Can you picture the inside of the house? Dark wood floors, beautiful paint colors. Five bedrooms, a guest bedroom, an office, a living room with LOTS of comfy seating and no television...or a small one (can you say board games and small groups?), a large dining room (complete with table that can be made just as big to match), two and a half baths, a large kitchen complete with lazy susans, an island with bar stool seating, and a french door bottom freezer fridge. I also wouldn't mind a room for just books and scrap booking. And a music room. Drum set for James, a piano for me (pending that I actually learn one day...), and maybe a few different guitars with amps (James wants to learn).

I am thinking a beige/tan home with brown shutters. I am liking our tri-level so it would be one of those, or a ranch style house. It would have in floor heating or geothermal heating, with solar panels to help pay for the electric costs. A fireplace with beautiful stone mantle in the living room, oh and did I mention the bay window with seating? That, my friends, would be my beautiful dream home. But alas, it is just a dream!

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 15

Day 15: Bible verse


I've shared many Bible verses along the way. I don't think I have a favorite favorite one. Depends on what I am going through, and what words I need to lean on.


Jeremiah 29:11 gives me hope
Joshua 1:9 is a good one for when I want to give up.
Proverbs 31 makes me wish to be a better woman and wife.
John 3:16 is the first verse I memorized.
Psalms 139 reminds me that God is always there.


These are the ones off the top of my head. 


Hope you are having a blessed night. Me on the other hand. I am feeling a bit sad. We were supposed to get a 3 year old labradoodle tonight, but the owner decided to keep him. He was so cute too. Jack Jack would have loved him. The cynical part of me says, "that's what you get for getting excited again." Maybe I should stop getting my hopes up. Stop being excited. Because then their isn't disappointment and discouragement.


Earlier today I was so tired (as I am again) and I was chasing James around the house trying to tickle him. I finally got him, when he moved quicker than I expected. Leaving rug burn on my right wrist. OUCH! He promptly told me as I was about to cry (I did end up crying) in my delirious tiredness that I needed to go to bed. He tucked me in and kissed me goodnight. Then I got six hours of sleep before Harry Potter.


Harry Potter was good, but I had to pee so stinking bad that I couldn't let tears flow. Once they started to escape, but I for sure thought that if fluids were leaking one place they would come out another too! =P On another note, I feel as if I might be getting a UTI, but not really because it is different. It's like I go to the bathroom and I still feel like I could go, even though I just went. It's ridiculous. Also, still no positive on my OPK, not even a darkish line like normal at this time. Should O in the next couple of days. Please Vitex don't mess this up for me!


Ok well I can hear my bed calling for me to come warm up the other side of the bed. zzzzzzzzzz
♥ Jess

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 14

Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?

Me and our Dog Jack Jack.

I don't think I have one of last summer. How sad is that? So here is one from Christmas 2010. But the post will pertain to a year ago from now.

June 2010 for me was a turning point. My period was late. I kept getting negative tests. But I felt pregnant. Now I wonder if I just didn't wait long enough for the test to fully develop. I tossed after 2 minutes. I could have 4 babies in heaven, not 3. June = no period for me. I had a 45 day cycle, and a gyno that didn't take me seriously.

July 2010 brought me to the diagnosis of PCOS. And the reality that we needed to start trying soon if we were going to have kids any time remotely soon. I started charting my temps on top of using OPKs, I had been using OPKs for almost a year at this point to avoid pregnancy. Now I realize they might have been a waste! lol

August 2010. Our one year anniversary. First cycle trying.

September 2010. Second cycle trying.

October 2010. Third cycle trying. Felt out of it this month, and felt defeated. November Surprised me.

November 2010. Our first BFP. Our first miscarriage. First experience with a truly awful doctor that told me, "there wasn't much tissue to pass." Seriously? Heart broken I miscarried the mass of clots on thanksgiving.

December 2010. Christmas. Our surprise BFP. Super excited, but kept it quite.

January 2011. Our first time seeing Sam. No heart beat. Our second miscarriage, blighted ovum. Induced by cytotec. Hurt by so many things said to me by friends and family. Truly a rough time.

February 2011. A cycle of healing and waiting to try again. Oh and we closed on our house! YAY!

March 2011. Blessed with a new job! Increase in pay (true blessing!)

April 2011. Back to trying.

May 2011. Diagnosis of low progesterone & crazy cycles? Cruddy eggs. Probably will need clomid. great.

June 2011. BFP! Cautious excitment. Which lasted like 2 days.

July 2011. Miscarriage #3.

How have I changed the past year? I have lost some innocence. I have gained strength and dependence on God. I have learned more sensitivity. And have had more tension and love in my marriage. We have been tried and tested. And been able to talk more. And occasionally slip away from each other to heal our wounds. I am a wounded heart. A woman struggling with infertility. I am a momma to babies in heaven. Ones that I cannot wait to meet one day. I am a warrior for standing tall when trudging through these rough mucky path of life that I am on. I am weak, but God makes me strong. I have fewer friends that are close. I am drifting away from our church community. I have struggled with depression. I look like a ghost due to working third instead of a golden summer goddess. I have been changed. But God knows this change will be better for me in the long run.

♥ Jessica

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 13

Day 13: Goals

Goals? Oh boy. I'll start a list for you! (ahem, maybe me too...because I am lacking motivation)

• Lose weight, to no longer be considered "obese"
• Stop picking at my nails when stressed
• Start to exercise
• Be able to run a 5K
• Read the Bible in it's entirety.
• Grow into a deeper relationship with God
• Get into the nursing program
• Become a kick ass nurse working with women/children
• Go to school to become a midwife or get my Masters in Nursing so I can see my own patients.
• Fix up our house
• Actually hang up photos
• Stop being a procrastinator.
• Be debt free (including student loans, and then the house payment)
• Maybe write a book some day.
• Learn to play the piano.
• Get amazing at my clarinet again.
• Be able to speak pretty decent Spanish without struggling to think before speaking.
• Go on a mission's trip.
• Vacation with my husband.
• Take his family on a nice vacation.
• Have a baby before Grandma passes.
• One day repair my relationship with Dad, or at the very least have him find Christ.
• Watch my family find God, and be saved.

Ok I'm done...don't want to be over ambitious at all. LOL
♥ Jess

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 12

Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without

No brainer. Keys and Phone. Usually wallet is in the car already. I don't carry a purse lately. Because I fill it up with too much junk! lol

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 11

Day 11: Favorite tv shows

Don't get me started on TV shows.

Seriously the only one that I truly like ALOT that isn't only reruns is House. Lets think about past shows in the last 10 years that I tried to watch EVERY week.

Las Vegas. Cancelled
The Black Donnelly's. Cancelled. Before the first season even finished.
Bionic Woman (the new one). Cancelled after first season. 
Mercy. Cancelled. (first show I truly made sure to watch EVERY episode)

Frustrating. So I watch reruns mostly. Mostly on TV Land as I do care on residents. Have found a new love for Three's Company. And have seen bits and pieces of episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond that I haven't seen before. And the Nanny.


Maybe I just have bad taste (or NBC does for choosing to cancel these shows above...)

Shows that I do like that are still on? Law and Order: SVU, Biggest Loser, and Parenthood (watch out it might get canceled because I like it!!)

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 10

Day 10: Something you're afraid of

Fear. I have lots of fears. My biggest fear lately? Not being able to experience pregnancy. Not being able to give birth to a healthy child. Having something happen to James before we experience life together, before we have children together. Losing my family before they find Christ. that one taunts me when I truly take the time to think and pray about it.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 9

Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend

You know me...pictures!

Junior Prom - visit to Walmart

Senior Tea

New Years Eve at Church

Jenny's 21st birthday I believe (maybe?)

I believe this is summer after Senior year  in high school or after Freshman year in college

 We haven't really taken any photos together recently. Kind of sad. The one above was taken in January.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 8

Day 8: A place you've traveled to

 Cancun, Mexico when I was in 8th grade, and again my Sophomore year in high school. It was exotic and beautiful. Want to visit sandy white beaches with crystal clear water once more. We stayed at avalon resorts, all inclusive. Great food. Unlimited Drinks. Sat on the sandy beaches in the sun. My favorite was the second time when we actually stayed at Isla Mujeres. We had a balcony facing the ocean. I sat outside and played my clarinet, wrote in my journal, and truly felt at peace. I loved the smell of the salt water, and the relaxing sound of the waves. I loved snorkeling and feeling close to the gorgeous fish. The beautiful colors. Palm trees, and pina coladas with fresh pineapple and coconut.

We went to Xcaret. Lots of crazy experiences here. Not like a zoo in America. A bat cave without glass between you and the flying nasty things. Alligators (or Crocs...I don't know the difference) below a walk way. And this awesome underwater river. We also went to some water park. This day I think I was dehydrated and crabby. The family swam with manta rays. I sat in the shade and napped. The "Lazy River" was like a rapid river. And Stacey found a snake in it...it was a special place.

Another plus? Back then I was skinny for me. And honestly, in Mexico they don't judge like America. And I truly felt beautiful. String bikini and all. It's sad that I remember thinking how fat I was when I weighed 160 and now I am struggling to get below 200. And currently I am lacking motivation.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 7

Day 7: Favorite movies

Diary of a Mad Black Woman (Probably all time favorite movie)
Baby Mama (I can definitely quote this one...good one for laughs)
Facing the Giants (the scene where she cries out to God and says I will still love you because they are struggling with infertility gets me every time)
Knocked Up
P.S. I Love You (Definite Tear Jerker)
Disney Movies - mostly the classics. Love the ones with songs!
Fan of the Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter
I love movies that make you think. Ones that make you cry. And Laugh. And especially if it's all in one.

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 6

Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy

Ok you know me, I can't just choose one...so one of my favorite "pictures" that make me happy are silly photos. I love taking them, though don't do it often enough, and LOVE even more looking back on them...here are a few of my favorites. Try to ignore if they are fuzy and digitized I was too lazy to get the CD that they are on...so I stole from facebook!

Left: 

My mom told my cousin to "drop" the flowers, meaning lower them. Poor choice of wording mom! =)

Right:

Initially my niece didn't want to take photos. Once bribed with a cheese stick she came running back to me!

Below:

James & I 'nuff said!

Above: Lindsay & I at the zoo!

Left: Linds & I at a wedding, had to do a photo opp!

 Silly moments with my sisters. Only missing Stacey here. We still don't have a good one with the four of us...thinking that might have to happen this summer!

 

One of my favorites of just me: I had a bright idea!

tehe! You know you love me! 

Anyways, sorry my blog is acting up...at least it is for me, my blog history is at the bottom even though it is supposed to be on the side. SORRY! I don't know how to fix it, so maybe it will fix itself? It fixed itself.

Have a good day, I'm off to class

♥ Jess

30 Day Blog Post - Day 5

Day 5: A song to match your mood

I don't know what mood I am in today. Honestly, just tired. After this post I think I will head to where I hear my voice being called: my bed. So instead I will give you a few songs that I love to turn up loud and sing my heart out to Jesus. Worship while driving. :-)



Love the music in this song. Hands raised and saying this is me God. I'm broken and I need you, I'm not afraid to stand up and say it!



There are some days that I don't know why God has given me what is at hand in my life, but I know it is because through my weakness He is made strong.



Where You go Lord I will go. Even through this rocky road of infertility and loss. Even though at times I gripe and feel down about my position, I know that my position in Christ is greater. And I will follow You!


Have a blessed day!
♥ Jess

30 Day Blog Challenge - Day 4

Day 4: Your parents

My parents. They are not perfect people. They do not know God. It's amazing that I made it out of that house alive at times. It's amazing that I found God after struggling through life.

Lets be honest though, it was not my mom's fault. Maybe it wasn't my dad's fault? Parent's really can screw you up if the child isn't able to adapt. Maybe they couldn't adapt to their home life. Dad's parents were hoarders. They had paths from place to place, inside the house, in the garage, out in the barns. Everywhere. They weren't ever there to help my parents out with us kids, we only really spent time with them if Mom or Dad were there. I can remember ONCE when my Grandpa Sawdy watched us when our parents went out shopping. We watched Cops and played Trouble. It was a good day.

My Mom's family were her savior when it came to raising us girls. They watched us every day in the summer when mom was on days. Aunt Patty took us places when she was on 2nd. Aunt Kathy used to take us places too, but that is a story for another day. The unfortunate story is that Grandma had a mental breakdown when her mom died, and from having five children her bladder isn't what it used to me...mixed with her not being "all there" she has accidents, all the time. Grandpa was an alcoholic. Not the violent time, the type that would sit around and drink himself into a stupor. He was a good man, but a man with issues. Grandma slid downhill after grandpa died.

So imagine growing up in these circumstances. How would that shape you? It shaped my parents. And in turn their parenting styles shaped me. Mom did great at making sure family vacations happened, that us girls were involved in extracurricular activities. She pushed us to do good, because it made her proud. She did these things because she missed out on them in her childhood.

My father was the opposite. He missed out on these things, so he wanted us to stop. No more girl scouts, no band, vacations were stupid until he got on them. To be honest, he has an anger issue, and probably some bigger underlying psychological problem. I can remember being afraid of him. Then I realized if I cowered in front of them, who would stand up for us?

My mom worked nights or second shift all through my school period, except in the summer, when she worked days. If I am honest, child protective services probably should have been called on dad. But even then, when we were older and they were involved with a case, it didn't help. All of my memories with my father are clouded mostly with pain. If not from the imminent story in mind, from pain causes shortly after. Disappointment, fear, pity, and disgust.

Along with my mom telling me sex wasn't anything big. I had my father tell me in seventh grade that all boys would want me for was sex. How is that for warm and loving? When playing games as a child, such as Don't Wake Daddy, he called me a wench when I beat him. At one point I called him out on his abusive language and actions. He threw the phone, it hit my leg, bounced on the floor and broke, not just the hand set either. He riped the entire station off the wall and threw it. I remember a pot of hamburger helper tossed into a trash can because us girls "didn't save him enough" when he was glued to the computer. His addictions: the computer/internet, hoarding, porn, and other women.

My first true memory of my parents is from when I was in DK. I remember dad sitting there with tears in his face, balloons and flowers. With mom cutting dad out of all the photos in the scrapbook. I never knew what he did, but now I do. He cheated. Mom forgave him. Second grade, same story another day. Except this time divorce papers were drawn. I remember the night he didn't come home. We left early in the morning to something, and came home. Dad and mom got in a fight, and dad threw a hammer, over our heads at our new big screen TV that mom had financed. These are my memories of my father.

He missed out on my wedding day because of his choices. Do I forgive him? Often, but it is a struggle to let him in. Because how many times do you allow yourself to hurt? But part of me says, what about him? Could you lead him to Christ? Isn't he hurting? For now, all I can do is pray. I am sure these emotions will come bubbling up to the surface more and more when James and I get closer to having children of our own. For now, it'll be three years in November since my father and I have spoken.

What about my Mom? She did the best she could. She stuck it out for us girls, it was a time when I believe women believed that it was better to have a poor father figure in a child's life than no father at all. Yet, she also failed to protect us at times. Failed to believe me. But, I remind myself of her past. And remember that no one is perfect. And instead think of times to the park, the zoo, vacations, girl scout outings, buying my clarinet. I think of these times and am thankful. I was blessed as a child, just not from both parents.

I think of my trying times as a child and wonder how I made it through some days. How my sisters are making it through. What ramifications will it have on their lives. Are they strong enough to thrive? I know that God made me the woman I am today, starting with the struggles I have had to endure and jump as a child. While others will become down cast, I will rise like a warrior chick. Out of the ashes I will become beautiful. I am beautiful. I am enduring life and struggles. God knew what he was doing, even if at times my parents did not.

♥ Jessica