Today's Appointment

I couldn't sleep last night. At all. And before that, I had a headache, but blood pressure was fine. Call me nervous Nelly.

We went to bed at midnight, after the world series got over (Tigers sucked it up :-( Was quite depressing). Got up at 3:30 with a headache (and to pee)...blood pressure was normal (110/78). Woke up at 6:30 again to pee, and with acid reflux. Finally got up at 7:15. Took blood pressure again because I still had a headache (117/72). At this point I am frustrated. I guzzle some water, eat a bowl of oatmeal (I am constipated again...and up three pounds because of it! lol).

Head out for appointment, get stopped by a train. Get to building, late because of long train and hitting every single red light...and surprise, surprise...no parking until on the very top ramp (been an issue there lately). So 15 minutes late (when I should have been there on time) I walked into appointment, feeling SO ridiculously stressed and tired.

First thing they do is hook me up to the NST. Little man almost immediately begins kicking away, he REALLY doesn't like the monitors hooked up to him. But he cooperated in letting us hear him continuously on the monitor.

Then they took the dreaded blood pressure. 140/90! Are you FREAKING kidding me?!?! I have been having 100s/60s and at the doctors I get the highest blood pressure reading ever? WTH?

So she says just relax and reminds me to hit the clicker whenever little man moves. And ooh boy does he move! Within the first 15 minutes they had all the accelerations they needed on his heart rate. But I had to stay on 5 more minutes to hit the minimum of 20 minutes. So baby is healthy and active.

Then I waited in waiting room for ultrasound. Amniotic fluid was almost 9, which they considered normal (much lower than the 15 from last week, but with as active as he was he could have inhaled more and just needed to pee). BUT I will be drinking more water today to make sure that I have the extra fluid to give him if he needs it.

Then came the visit with the doctor. And a HUGE sigh of relief. I had brought in my blood pressure log this time, and he was like "your blood pressure looks wonderful...at home. Which is great, because that is where you live 99% of your life." He set my mind at ease. Said next week, when meeting with him again, to bring in my blood pressure cuff and they would check it compared to the girls doing it manual, and go from there. He said that he really doesn't want to increase my blood pressure meds because of how low it gets at times, but if it does increase that IS an option because of the low dose I am on. And that the doctor I saw last week has the tendency to make women nervous about their blood pressure concerns.

He went on to say, that baby is doing well, is in 53 percentile for growth according to u/s 2 weeks ago. Amniotic fluid is within normal range. And there is no protein in my urine. There is no reason to take the baby early. He said that as long as things continued where they currently are that I could continue to hope to make it between 37-39 weeks, not the 36 that last week's doctor told me. I also asked about the shot to develop little man's lungs. He said once at 34 weeks they feel that the shot isn't as effective because baby's though they may need a short stay in the NICU, end up doing just as well as baby's born at term in the long run. Also, he seemed to think with my blood pressure being controlled at home, no protein in urine, and baby doing fine that I had nothing to worry about needing to deliver next week.

He even reassured me that sometimes babies born at 35 weeks can get sent home with mom. I am just going to continue to pray for healthy developed lungs, normal blood pressure, and for my body to naturally go into labor itself. Which by the way, on NST I haven't had any contractions show up yet! Which is a good sign he said for me to go to term.

Woooohooo, huge weight off my shoulders. Now if my darn headache would go away, that would be wonderful. I am going to take a Tylenol drink another huge glass of water, and find myself a little snack.

And try to relax even though there is so much homework I need to do, thank you notes to write, baby gifts to organize and put away, and some chores to do. Deep breaths!! *sigh*

Blood Pressure Concerns

Thank you ladies for your responses to my comments on my last post. I had a hard, HARD day yesterday. I feel like this has really caught me by surprise. I haven't had an issue with my blood pressure at all this whole pregnancy, even was able to decrease my blood pressure medicine from the very beginning.

The breaking point for me for tears, was sadly when the syrup from my yams spilled all over bag, getting books ruined and everything a sticky mess. I bawled. And my nurse in charge that night helped calm me down some. She herself had signs of preeclampsia and they didn't freak out until her BP was much higher than mine. *Sigh*

Then I also realized that I should have definitely asked for her to do another reading on my blood pressure. I thought it was a bad reading, everything at home had been 110-120/ 74-84 that night after doctor's appointment. And then I did a reading after running around at work. 130/80. Guess it is going up. :-(

Now that my brain is with me, and I am not in shock (and much to my coworker's recommendation and you ladies!) I do plan on asking for the shot on my next appointment. I plan on asking about needing to get hours cut at work. Like weekends only until baby is here maybe. Something that will allow me to have SOME sort of meager income until little man comes. Or being taken off work (yikes...).

My fingers are now definitely swelling more. And regardless of what my hopes were (vaginal birth, full term, working up until delivery) I know that things change. And it will be a blessing for him to be here, regardless how drastically things change. My prayers still will be asking for a vaginal birth (hopefully natural), for a healthy baby, and for a healthy me.

So today sleeping has been happening until 2 this afternoon, and now I have a mission for the rest of the day, all the while keeping an eye on my blood pressure. Guzzling water all the while.

My goals:

• Pack bags for hospital
• Do the dishes
• Go purchase mattress 
• Use coupons to purchase some formula @ BabiesRUs because they have a deal that I could get two Gerber formulas for like $10 (I have two high value coupons)
• And maybe some diapers...I am a slacker and have 3 packages of size 1. 
• Pick up living room, and let my hubby vacuum it when he gets home.

Early Delivery?

Well that doctor's appointment didnt go as I wanted it to. I am currently 32w1d. And my blood pressure is creeping up. 134/94 today. Not good.

Doctor said if I was 36 weeks today he would have delivered the baby.

That was a shocker. I am so NOT ready!!!

Anyways, game plan for now is monitored BP, if it stays the same then 2x a week appointments to check on baby. If it goes up we deliver. If it stays the same delivery will most likely be around 36 weeks.

4 weeks from now.

What?!?

So tomorrow's game plan is to pack the hospital bag because who knows what Monday's appointment could bring...

Funny & Sad

Funny!
Last night I was getting dressed in front of James, when all of a sudden he starts smiling and chuckling. I look at him and say, "....What?" "Your belly...it's just so....round!" lol I was like I know, thanks. Silly man, I think the cold medicine is getting to him! Which is fine, as long as his cold doesnt get to me!!

Sad.
Last night I got news that one of my favorite nurses at work has lung AND bone cancer, on top of the lupes she has battled her whole life. My heart is so heavy for her. She hasnt told me face to face, but it is because of how hard it is to tell people she has cancer. To see and hear their responses is hard. She is scared, and I wanted to hug her and let her know I will be praying for her. But because she hasnt came out with it 100% to everyone I kept quite. I don't know if I will see her again, which is a sad sad thought. Her last night is tomorrow as she is starting an intensive round of chemo, evidentally they have already done some, but the new diagnosis is makin g them go more aggressive. Her prognosis is bleak. They gave her 6month - a year without treatment, and 2 years with treatment.  My heart is so terribly sad for her. Praying God puts His hand on her during this hard time.

Lazy post...

Hey this is another lazy post, copied and pasted from family blog. I have to get some sleep and hoping that James will help me move things into nursery after nap and before I have to go to work (which btw was hellish because of call lights and people just being crazy!!)

Let the Weekly Appointments Begin!

Life has been hectic lately. Between work, baby showers, trying to get the nursery put together, and life in general...Oiy! This pregnant woman gets TIRED! And warm...holy toots I swear I am an oven! Even more so now that our pellet stove is hooked up through the furnace. Have a feeling we will have no problem staying warm this winter! Which is a good thing with a baby on the way!

James is in busy season at work, got to love the farming world...harvest = many more hours at work and less at home. I will be excited for him once harvest is over and he is finally on days. He is also currently fighting a cold, so prayers that it passes quickly without infecting me would be wonderful this girl doesn't need to get sick, and to prevent i I have diligently been drinking OJ with Emergen-c and taking all of my vitamins.

Two weeks ago I had quite a scare, I really thought Matthew was going to decide to come early. My Tuesdays and Thursdays are REALLY long days due to work and school, meaning that I am usually up for 24 hours straight with up to one to two 1-2 hour naps. It was causing me to have some contractions. Mixed with the fact that he decided to explore the shadow land of my uterus, also termed.. the dark side. It causes so much pressure and cramping when he tries to stretch out on that side. Enough that I prayed, poked, and prodded until he moved back other to my right side. The contractions at the worst were 5 minutes apart, about 20 seconds each. This only lasted for about 20 minutes (before that it was only every 15 minutes or so for an hour or two), until I was able to guzzle a ridiculous amount of water and lay down for awhile. That night I called in tardy to work.  It hasn't happened since, but I have been trying to keep up on drinking 14-18 servings of water a day! I feel like I should have an IV hooked up to me to keep me properly hydrated, and a catheter inserted as often as I am drinking water and running to the bathroom!

Last week began my weekly appointments. That appointment was mainly to check the growth of our little man. Which he measured in in the middle of the growth chart at 3lbs 11oz. His little femur was 5.84cm long (or close to 2 and a quarter inches) and his head is measuring a week ahead!! Holy wow! Hillards do have big noggin's that is something we can attribute to that side ;-)

At this appointment I learned the reason that we are doing weekly appointments has more to do with the history of hypertension and clotting disorder, and less to do with my uterus shape. Every appointment from here on out there will be an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid level, and the functioning of the placenta and umbilical cord. At my 35 (and possibly 39) week appointment they will also be checking the growth of the baby again. On top of the ultrasounds they will be starting nonstress tests, basically this will watch for any contractions, and see how the baby is dealing with them okay. The doctor also informed me that they usually induce at 39 weeks for those that have hypertension.

This was news to me, and made me quite sad! She said we can play it week by week. But, to be honest, God has made a way and answered every prayer for this little guy thus far...from silly things from him being head down at 19 weeks so he wouldn't get stuck in breach position, to more serious things such as helping me keep him cooking into the third trimester. We will have to wait til birth to see if he got James' dimples though ;-). So by our praying for my blood pressure to stay controlled, and the placenta to continue functioning properly...I have to have faith that God will make a way for this as well and our little man will come into the world in his timing, and will allow mommy to come out from labor with a wonderful natural labor story.

Anyways, I thought I would share photos, all the ones that I have been slacking on thus far...along with a few edited maternity photos! Then nap time before work, and hopefully talking James to help me move things into the nursery and out of our hallway before work!!

October 15th...

I am sure many of you know that today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Or that October is a whole month dedicated to this, thanks to Ronald Reagan. He must have been a very smart man, or had good ears and listened to his wife ;-)

It seems ironic that later today I will be getting my 31 week growth ultrasound, and giving you a glimpse into the maternity photos we took yesterday. When my heart is still heavy for all of us that have lost a pregnancy, an infant, or possibly even the dream of having a child. I think of my Abby, Sammy, and other little ones (which we sadly haven't given a name to...) in God's arms today. And truly hope that they have brought comfort and joy to women that were unable to have babies of their own on earth. While they cannot  be here with me, I do know that they are in the place that I so yearn to be one day. And cannot wait to see the little beings that God created from James and myself.

So today, while I am celebrating the life of Matthew growing inside of me, while looking at my round belly, my heart will also be grieving the losses of too many little ones to parents here on earth. My thoughts will bounce between the images of maternity picture, ultrasounds, and the desperate time we faced with infertility and loss...month after month after month. We never did anything to officially remember them, so tonight to follow with the wave of light for October 15th I will be lighting candles at 7pm in memory of them.

All five of them. We have six children, five in heaven, and one growing in my womb. One thing is for sure, Matthew will know that once he is in heaven he has so many siblings to meet that it is going to be a huge party! I love all of my babies, even the ones that I was never given the opportunity to see a little speck on ultrasound, or hear a beating heart.

On that note, I will leave you with a sneak peak of our maternity photos...

One of my favorites.

Another favorite!!

Rain stopped us from getting more photos, so I promise I will get a better one of us in our shirts!

Lots of Bump Photos

I don't have time to talk, but here's my update on my bump! :-)

I am officially a bad blogger...

I am too busy, and I know it is just going to get worse....oiy! So this is going to be a long post.

I have had a few hormonal breakdowns where I just cry because everything feels too overwhelming. The house is a disaster, I am currently FAILING two of my classes (we have only taken one test, so I do still have hope...), and the nursery still isnt even close to being done.

I feel like we did not prepare financially enough for having this baby, but somehow some way we will make a way. Only by the grace of God, I can assure you. lol in the past month we paid 1,100 in medical bills with another 200 we still owe on. So at least that is out of the way, lol.

But my freak out mostly comes from feeling like Matthew could be here at any time and NOTHING is ready for his arrival except for my heart. Which is the most important, of course. But I do not plan on co-sleeping. And would love to avoid having him sleep in our room at all if I can handle it (I just think it sets him up for better sleep habits as he gets older). Sooooo...the nursery needs to be done. I have decided the decals can wait until after taxes and such, because that isnt a mandatory thing. But I want the glider/rocker and the dresser before his arrival.

James wants new hunting gear. And a gun barrell. LOL I love my husband. But the motherly instincts in me right now want to rip his head off at times. Pray for him! ;-) Honestly, he has been waiting SO long to get these things, but we had more in medical bills laying around than what I had anticipated at first. Pending when he gets his raise, and how many hours I am able to work...both things MIGHT be able to happen for both of us.

Anyways, I am now 30 weeks. And I don't want to jinx it, but my biggest complaints are when my vagina vein (lol...I now call the contraption I wear my vagina sling...) flares up, and the hot flashes. I love the fact I have now lost my feet when I look straight down. And that strangers are holding the door open for me because they see my belly. I get more smiles, and get to hear some amazing stories from the residents at work about when they had their children. There are uncomfortable moments, where my back hurts, it is hard to breath, and he is stretching so much I feel like he is going to rip my skin open. I may feel like a turtle when I try to roll over in bed, and am really getting sick of doing the lovenox injections every darn day (and not looking forward to twice a day...). BUT all of those discomforts and complaints pale in the light of what is growing inside of my tummy. When I get to feel him having his own little dance party, or when James got to FINALLY feel him kick. Or when I look down and remember what a miracle this little boy truly is. Such a gift from God....that it brings tears to my eyes and takes my breath away.

I cannot wait for him to be here. Whether I feel ready or not, I cannot wait to see his tiny little features that are half from me and half from James. I cannot wait to see James in Daddy mode, or see our parents' facial expressions when they get to meet their new grandson. To be able to call my sister and best friend letting them know it is go time. I am ready for delivery and to have my own story to tell.

Sunday is maternity photos. And it makes me thankful that my belly "popped" again. I am looking at wearing a black dress for some, jeans with a dressier top next to my husband in jeans w/a button up shirt. I have also purchased him a white plain T shirt so we can do a few of them as well possibly.

AND the one I am looking forward to the most, our halloween skeleton shirt picture. This one will be the shirt I have posted about before, with James in a shirt with a skeleton rib cage, and our dog in a skeleton costume.

I have high hopes for these pictures. It will be her first time taking maternity photos, so I am a guinea pig. She is charging $75 and I get the CD with the rights. I am hoping to have photos printed before our family shower at the end of the month so I can have them added to my pregnancy photo album. Then, come end of November/beginning of December if little man is still making my belly expand...I am planning on a few more maternity photos with another family friend. These would be inside shots verses the ones we are doing on Sunday that will be with the fall background (pray the leaves keep their color and not too many fall before then!!).

Also, 6 days til we get to see Matthew again. And then weekly from here on out. It is crazy crunch time!! James isnt going to be able to make it to this one due to work being so busy. I have asked my SIL if she wanted to come....and waiting on a response. I am looking for someone that will be able to drive because I am thinking about working the night before the ultrasound for the extra money. And will want to sleep on the way there, and possibly the way home.

I havent heard from the scheduling lady yet about a 3D ultrasound either. So that might end up not happening. We shall see....

So that's all for now, I will make sure to post baby bump photos later tonight or tomorrow. <3 Hope everyone is having a fantastic week!

UTI + Pregnancy = Misery

This morning I woke up late for class, which was fine because I wouldn't have made it anyways with the uti flare up I had.

I was to the point where I could have lived on the potty. I left to run to store to buy some cranberry juice (or stock up, I bought 3 bottles). The 20 min ride to town was pure misery from the urgency.

Then I talked to SIL and she talked me into just going to urgent care bc it is right across the street from Meijer. Temp was normal for me (96.6), and every other vital sign cleared as well. By the time they asked why I was there and if I could give a sample, I felt like I needed to go SO badly. Well they gave me the wipe and the cup, my urgency at high alert level, and all I could squeak out was 10ml. Thankfully that's enough for checking for UTI.

I left with a Keflex and Pyridium prescription. And it took 30 min to get it filled. That was more torture. Thankfully, I feel a bit better. But the massive amts of juice have given me heartburn. Pick your battles I suppose. I'd rather have heartburn over wanting to glue my butt to a toilet.

So now the debate...to go to work or not? *sigh*

On another note, I did get my eyes checked yesterday....the first time in 3 years. My prescription stayed the same!! =) I got contacts back, but now cannot use them bc the pyridium that changes your pee orange (and gives massive relief) can turn your contacts that color as well. And God giggles I think. LOL

Tomorrow a furnace guy is coming to do checkup on fuel oil furnace and possibly give quote on how much hooking pellet stove up will cost us. I honestly am contemplating not hooking it up again and just purchasing 2 eden pure (or like them) heaters. Girls at work say they are amazing...depends how much he says I suppose...

Weekend Vacation & Such

In case anyone is curious...the nursery still is untouched from last week!! *Sigh* Oiy...this chica needs to be kicked in the butt to find motivation I think!!

Originally we planned on going away this COMING weekend. But due to James' boss making plans that weekend, and it being harvest already...we had a choice: go this past weekend or not go at all before the baby comes. So we planned on this past weekend, I made reservations Thursday night after I got an email stating a deposit (from school refund check) should be in our account (the deposit we were planning on paying for our vacation with...) within 1-3 business days, looking at the past time it took, it should have been there Friday.

Friday morning came. Our account still read it's meager amount. I was feeling depressed about not being able to go, when my mom saved the day. She gave us the money to go, and I paid her back today. Feeling hormonal and depressed, about everything seeming to go wrong, what happened? My rear turn signal went out, so I had to stop and purchase a new bulb. Then I had to pack yet because I was thinking we were going to cancel. FINALLY I felt mostly better when James got home, the car was packed, and we were on our way to the hotel.

We stayed at the Drury Inn in Troy, MI. It was WONDERFUL. The bed was super comfortable, and to top that off...they offer a yummy breakfast spread (sausage, biscuits, gravy, belgium waffles, scrambled eggs, different breads for toast, muffins, oatmeal, and cereal) AND what they call a Kickback. They call this appetizers and drinks. You can have 3 alcoholic beverages (neither James or I took advantage of this, this weekend) plus whatever you wish from their evening spread from 5:30-7:30. They have a schedule on their website but Saturday night this is what they had: chili, tortilla and regular chips, cheese, hot dogs, and mac and cheese. From 5-10pm they also offer unlimited soft drinks and popcorn. So basically if you can eat hot dogs for dinner or nachos and cheese, the only meal you have to pay for is lunch.

Needless to say, I highly recommend Drury Inn and you should look for it whenever you are looking for a place to stay.

We went to Cabela's, and an outlet mall (where we found like zero deals...except in the Disney Store Outlet, and Burlington Coat Factory), then we relaxed in our room for the evening, and later on went to share an appetizer and dessert at TGIF.

While our money was limited, the time relaxing together was amazing. Two hours of talking there and back, plus an hour to Cabela's and an hour drive back. Lots of walking for exercise, and the most important thing happened....

James FINALLY got to feel Matthew (I am going to try using the name more often, it is so weird to be using a name...) going crazy in my belly. It was something I had prayed that would happen over our vacation. It was amazing. I just grabbed his hand, without saying anything and James said, "Woah! Was that him? That is crazy!" :-) So very happy!

After spending less than 500 on food, the items we got, gas, and hotel stay, we have decided weekends away need to happen more often. We are planning for at least twice next year. I may have to give up on thoughts of week long vacations for a long while now that little man is coming, and nursing school is around the corner, but darn it I think we can make time and money to go away for a weekend every now and then.

Our last time away just the two of us was Sept 2011 when we went to Mackinaw. Sadly, we didn't take pictures together this time, but it's okay because in two weeks we will have maternity photos done together!

A nap and getting things done around the house are calling, so I must go.

Hope your weekend was fabulous! and your week ahead is just as wonderful!