Side Effects

My clomid is kicking my butt this time around. Forget the hotflashes...this headache can leave at any moment. I already have cramps. Already, near my ovaries. AND the moodiness on top of all of this. Plus, tonight I get to up my metformin to 1,500mg. So my grumbly tummy will probably make another appearance. It had just disappeared too =(

Yet, it will be worth it if we get a healthy baby out of it all. And I am hopeful once again. OPKs and HPT are supposed to arrive today. Along with the book I ordered and our sperm friendly lube. Which by the way I am excited to try. This weekend I begin no allergy meds, mucinex, extra vitamin C, the every other day "appointment" and the use of instead cups to give his swimmers an extra leg up. I may even look up other helpers for cm. I am alreadyy on flax seed oil.

Have I mentioned how thankful I am for my husband lately? He is the one that got us taking vitamins, and he takes alll of his every day. We are like old people and both have vitamin pill boxes lmbo. He take an omega 3-6-9 and a fish oil pill, a multi vitamin, a super b complex, vitamin C, and vitamin D. He is superman to me =) Sweets are just his Kryptonite. They are for both of us.  And we both are starting to get hopeful about changing that. Within next few months we anticipate healthier eatting, gym memberships, and smaller waists.

Ok, hopefully smaller for him and a gradually growing baby bump for me. =D If not, I would like to lose at least 15 lbs before January. Maybe 20 before Nursing starts. To be under 200lbs would be WONDERFUL.

Thankful Thought: I am thankful for good sisters. Tonight two of them are coming over for game night. And I hear they are going to help me pick up a little bit =D.

Intentional Living: Drinking more water. Not swearing is going well.

Reading? I didn't do so well today. A few small verses from Daily Bible app, and from my verse of the day email. I will read some Isaiah before I close my eyes for some shut eye.

Is it Hot in Here?

You guessed it, the hot flashes woke me up at 630. 4 hours after going to sleep.

The joys of Clomid. *sigh*

I am hopeful for an even larger progesterone # this time around. I wasn't on the metformin last cycle when I ovulated, so hopefully being on it this time around will help a bunch (maybe to get a bfp!).

What else woke me up? A dream. I never dream, and this one was weird. Definitely think even my dreams have been taken over by my ttc obssesions.

In my dream, I had just gotten over my period. When I got in a car accident. At the hospital they did blood work and told me, you've probably guessed it, "You're pregnant." So I was hysterical and explained my bleeding, that it wasn't possible. Yada yada yada. Her response, "Many women experience that when they have twins and one is lost." And sure enough, there was a healthy baby.

I'm not kidding I almost peed on a stick to see this morning. I resisted because I knew it would be a waste of money. And a little disheartened to see another bfn.

It also made me realize though, I need to stop getting down about testing early and such. I do it because the sooner I get on my blood thinners the better. And if that is 9dpo or 15dpo it doesn't matter. I will order cheap tests today, because if the excessive testing helps me hold onto a pregnancy...I will continue the heartbreaking sight of many bfn every month. With the hopes of seeing two pink lines of hope.

Jess

Let the "Fun" Pills Begin

CD 4 and first night on Clomid. I don't get side effects until later on, but I will tell you...the metformin is playing games with my tummy.

But, at least it doesn't play games with my heart. Or my moods like Clomid does. :)

I have begun my flax seed oil supplements, and plan on starting the mucinex within the next few days.

But for now...James is home!

<3

New Script of Clomid

After not sleeping well last night, waking up at 630, calling the doctor, and waiting five hours before calling them again to assure I would at least make them think I had my prescription on CD 3, I got put on hold and then told to wait for the call. (wow long run on, sorry!)

Low and Behold...less than 2 minutes later, my phone rings. And my clomid is called in. Wow, that was SO hard. They were like, so you started your new cycle then? Uh yup, on CD 3 today. And with surprise and like...oh crap I wasn't going to call you today...."Oh cycle day 3 huh? I will make sure it will be ready by this evening." Yeah, thanks a lot. Same thing happened last month too. 

Except this time? I am waiting until tomorrow to go pick up the meds. And I will be doing them CD 4-8. Shhhh don't tell the doctor. She says she has better results on 3-7. BUT all I care about is having one baby, if we get two woohoo. Earlier in the cycle seems to induce more follicles. Later in the cycle (like 5-9) seems to produce 1 or 2 really good follicles. All I need is 1 or 2 GOOD ones, I have faith that James's swimmers can get there in time, especially with the instead cup giving them a little extra help staying up there. :-D

Anyways, today I feel like poo. I have cramps galore, still darn heavy AF, AND got a bloody nose that drained into my throat (can you say nasty?). So my tummy feels cruddy, I haven't showered (and don't plan on it until waking up from my nap), and the mail hasn't came yet today.

So I am still waiting to find out about the nursing program. I have attempted to prepare myself for whichever answer it is. If it is yes! It means this month may be the last we ttc for a long while. It also means I will be due midway/towards the end of my summer semester. I have faith I will be good, if not then the no answer will be implied if I have to wait a year. If it is a Nope, we will continue ttc while I retake my anatomy and physiology classes. If it is the later, at least it will be a good refresher. And I got an A and A- first time around, so I would think second time around will be a breeze too...we'll see. I just pray I get in by 2013 so I don't have to retake chemistry. The thought of that makes me shiver (math and chemistry definitely are NOT my favorite classes).

CD 2 and No Relief

Well I have had 3 hours of sleep (couldn't sleep last night because I slept all day preparing to go to work), and am about ready to get ready for church. But I have to be honest, I don't want to leave this heating pad.

I took an ibuprofen yesterday night and it didn't touch my cramps. super heavy flow. Going through super tampon in about 3 hours. Pads quicker because I can't take the nastiness of them. They just feel disgusting. The clots are disgusting too. I once got told that is what hurts to pass, the clots...that's what the cramping is caused by. I don't know how reliable this information is...she was a nurse. But I haven't checked it against Dr. Google (lol).

Anyways, I am hoping I have a thermacare to wear today because I am hurting. Kind of fitting because it takes a little bit of the attention off from my emotions. My cramps probably feel as bad as I did emotionally when I started spotting.

I feel broken and full of pain. And disgusting. Blah.

On a good note. I talked my hubby into going to see Courageous this afternoon. If we go at 1 it is an early matinee and we can watch it for 4.50 each, and the popcorn will cost more than our tickets combined. Probably less than 25 for our little date. One of my good friends told me to bring LOTS of Kleenexes. So I will have to pack a sandwich baggie full.

Well I have to go wake up James, he will probably be upset I let him sleep this long. We have to leave around 9 to head to church. He can get ready in 40 minutes. He just might not have time for a big breakfast, oh well we have bananas =)