Little Bit About Me

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First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.

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CAUTION

All writing in this blog is unedited and 100% from what I am feeling at the time. By continuing to read it means that you will take my vents with a grain of salt. You will choose to not take offense. And most of all, if you know me in real life you will either choose to stop reading or keep the knowledge of this blog quiet, and privately allow me to know you are reading. I only share this information with close friends. I do not share this with facebook for a purpose: it is meant to be semi-private. Not "public" knowledge in the sense of the majority of those in real life knowing about it. If you can accept all that has been stated, sit back, grab a box of tissues, and be prepared to endure the rocky road of trying to conceive while trying to get out of the shadows of infertility.

If you have any private questions or concerns you may contact me at mynotesonttc at gmail.com



♥
Showing posts with label Our Son. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Our Son. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Bump Update, Ultrasound Visit, and More!

Bump Update!

First of all, can you believe it? I am 25 weeks now!! So AMAZING. I am overjoyed and over the moon the happy with all the blessings God has poured out on us with this little man!



Ultrasound Visit!

We got in rather quickly, and it was like he KNEW they were going to try getting his picture again, he pushed his butt right out at the lady! lol He is still head down but more towards my left hip bone instead of in my pelvis! I hope this is a good thing and he doesn't choose to lay transverse instead of head down eventually. He is still definitely a he, I recognized boy parts before she said anything! His Heartbeat was 150, amniotic fluid level was perfect they said, and my cervix was still an amazing 4.7cm. My doctor today said that I was showing off, because it only needs to be 2.5cm to make them happy at this point. I am glad it is still long and strong because I have a feeling it will shorten quickly when it is time due to the weight of the baby and such (that and I have been praying for it to thin when it is supposed to without any medical intervention! And my prayers for cervix of steel have worked, so why won't this ;-D)

They finally got a profile picture of this little guy. Placenta has now moved more over to my right but still half front/half side. Which would be why I have been feeling more kicks on top of belly! When he really gets moving he is punching (or drumming as some would say) above my left pelvis bone, and kicking upper middle belly. Truly amazing! He is getting so BIG!! And I still have 15 weeks to go!



More!

This weekend...
Was AMAZING time with James's family. I got to spend all weekend with my three nieces, my sister in law and James's brother. His sister and brother in law came down Saturday, and it was nice to hang out late into the night Saturday with them as well. I enjoyed lots of snuggles with all three girls, and had so many funny moments that of course I HAVE to share a couple.

A is 5, one day she was sitting on my lap when she said to me, "Aunt Jess, you can have L (their newest little addition, she is 3months old). And I will take that one (pointing to my tummy)." I roared laughing. And told her mom, her mom is like, "A, you don't want a Brother do you? Mommy doesn't know how to do little boys, and L is too good of a baby, I don't want to trade!" lol It was TOO stinking cute!

Then Saturday night when we were hanging out, I suddenly got SO hungry. The kids were in bed and it was the adults hanging out. I said, "I could go for a hot dog!" My sister-in-law says, "There are some in the fridge if you want one." Her husband pipes in, "Don't you know that's what got you in this predicament!?" hahaha, yes I am WELL aware. but it really got me laughing.

Sunday my dear hubby was a little hung over (he drank to his little hearts content Saturday night, and was quite a sight to see with his goofy smiles with big ol' dimples, and drunken talk...but now he said that isn't going to happen for awhile! lol). But he noticed his sister-in-law trying to make lunch for the older girls while holding onto the youngest. If you know my husband at all, he is terrified to hold little babies, he says it is different if it is his own, because if he breaks it it is his to break. LOL Gotta love him. But he OFFERED to take little L! On his own terms (AMAZING!). His brother, said to him (and I on a couple different occasions) "You do know, yours is going to be different, it is going to have a penis." haha yes, we are fully aware! Gotta love Booger! Anyways, so James is holding onto her outside and brings L inside to SIL and says, "Is that how you do it?" And she was snoozing snuggled up in his arms. She said he was SO proud of himself! (And it truly melted my heart!) But Booger pipes in, "Ya know, it isn't that easy when it's your own!" :-) My husband is going to be an amazing father! 

SIL is breast feeding and she isn't ashamed of it! I love it. Others, especially the men are like, "I don't know if I am supposed to be seeing that..." It's a BOOB. Get over it. She is feeding her daughter, it is hot and little L doesn't want the blanket over her. Whoop-di-doo. She even does it in public without much of a cover, just finds a place where it isn't too busy and does what she needs to do. She is my hero! She only pumps for when she is going to be at work. 

James's sister's hubby (you following that?) also said to me once, something about I don't want that it might have pregnancy cooties on it. I said, "believe me...I know pregnancy ISN'T contagious!" He laughed, Looked down at his round belly and said, "...I don't know about that one..." That made me giggle. Ok it isn't contagious, I know, but with his belly puffed out you'd think it was ;-)

Work...
There is a baby boom of 2012 happening again! There are four women, excluding myself, that have struggled with infertility and loss. One is due this month (in a week!). The other three had babies all around each other last year, and none of their little kiddos are 1 yet! WELL all of them are pregnant with the second little ones! None expected it to happen this fast, all were ttc for 2+ years for the first (one for 7 years! And even did 2 rounds of IVF, and several IUIs all resulting in BFNs or losses...she lost about 20lbs right before getting pregnant with her first). One is about 10 weeks behind me, and the other two are due in April 2013. CRAZY! 

And then there is a blogger that got her surprise BFP after having twins w/IVF. And Toni that had her 2nd round of IVF and got a good beta in spite of her losing a little hope there at the end of her testing ;-) ! 

Keep all of these ladies in your prayers for them to continue on to have healthy pregnancies!

WELL I need to do some homework so I have to go...statistics, microbiology, and health psych are all calling my name (though a nap called harder earlier so I gave in to it!). I also need to fold a massive pile (ok table) of laundry, and clean our bedroom. 

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Bump Update!



I am pretty much using the same post for my update on my family blog, so if you read both, sorry! Can you say lazy a little bit today?

Little man you are one day away from viability!! I did some research and you would be considered a micro preemie, you'd have eyelashes, and eyebrows. But your little eyes would still be fused shut. You'd need help to breath due to premature lung development, and it would be a long journey in the NICU. You'd be about the length of a corn cob, and weigh around a pound and a half (amazing that I am carrying you inside of me and you grew from smaller than a pin head to how big you are now! And some days by how much movement I feel you definitely feel SO much bigger!). One of the factors that impact survival at this age is birth weight, which makes me so happy that you were in the 55th percentile at last appointment, and were guessed to weigh 1lb 4 oz already. They say that babies that weigh more than 2lbs 3 oz do much better than those that weigh less.

BUT the good thing is, God has answered my prayers to have a cervix of steel, and you are safe and sound inside my womb still! I truly believe I do not need to worry about preterm delivery (especially this early) but I love being informed and educated about EVERYTHING it seems. If I don't know something, Google becomes my best friend. I hope you have this same craving for education and learning random facts about random things. I pray you will excel in school, and you will love life and learning something new every day.

On to the bump photos...here they are! I am smiling even though I feel like a hillbilly because my front tooth's bonding that fixed a chip in my left front tooth fell out! It is horrible. And quite embarrassing. You cannot tell in these pictures, but when I laugh or talk, it is not pretty. I am so blessed to have good teeth, minus this one chip. I pray for you that you have strong, healthy, cavity resistant, teeth! Right now it feels so awkward to smile, to eat, and to talk. Not fun! And to top it off, I cannot get into the dentist until Friday, and my first day of class is Thursday!! Seriously, what dentist goes on vacation? :-P

You can tell this is the side little guy sits on
if you look at me facing this way and compare it to me facing the other way

See! Not quite as big looking! lol
But look how long my hair is getting! :-D I LOVE it!

Little man is definitely pushing is little butt out more during this picture,
making my belly more pronounced.
I also have been trying to keep up on drinking more water
And eating healthier...weight this week shows it! :-)
Which makes me VERY happy!!
(and I have definitely been more regular in the bathroom...which is AWESOME not gonna lie!)




I also realized I never shared the ultrasound pics from last week's appointment so here they are....




ALSO, I THINK I finally got a video that shoes my belly moving some. Not as good as it has been, but I got him finally. I will try uploading it, it should be on my bottom left hand side of belly (note this is the side I didn't have a uterus on, it has grown that much in that direction!) at around 3-4 seconds and somewhere around 10 seconds.




Monday, August 13, 2012

Reality...

James looked at me on the way home from the zoo (a few pictures to come!) And said, "I am finally starting to get excited because it is feeling more real."

Enough to bring a big smile to my face and joy in my heart. Because while it feels real to me, he has yet to feel a kick. He sees my belly expanding but even if it feels large and in charge to me I'm not HUGE yet (though I have gained 8lbs now....gah! 18 weeks to go (and 1 or 2 days) maybe I can make it through without gaining more than original start weight when I began exercising and watching what I ate). I said max I wanted to gain was 15. 7lbs in 18 weeks? Maybe! I am going to be a better girl with eatting habits from here on out.

Anyways, James and I also got to talking about how surprised we were our baby is a boy. We are having a son! His brother has 3 adorable little girls so we thought we were going to follow suit with the girl streak. We currently have the ONLY male from a hillard male in the family, growing safely and soundly in my belly.

And then I got to thinking and talking to God about what a keeper this llittle boy will be. He will grow up knowiing how to treat women, he'll be able to fix things around the house, if anything like the both of us he will have a musical streak. A sensitive side, a great sense of humor and loyalty. And I am sure he will be a handsome little fella!

(Though I did have a dream I thought the baby was ugly, how sad!! LOL I am sure as a mother that is impossible, but due to my family joking and wishing worst family traits on this little being the dream happened. Big ears, big nose...dumbo in the making.)

I do hope to one day have a little girl, but one step at a time. Currently God has blessed us with a little boy and I am looking forward to being his Mommy!

To Do...
Paint the Nursery
Look for room theme I like (thinking jungle)
REGISTER <<<Ahhh!
Research which cloth diapers to try
Start setting up nursery...how amazing to think about!