I am officially a bad blogger...

I am too busy, and I know it is just going to get worse....oiy! So this is going to be a long post.

I have had a few hormonal breakdowns where I just cry because everything feels too overwhelming. The house is a disaster, I am currently FAILING two of my classes (we have only taken one test, so I do still have hope...), and the nursery still isnt even close to being done.

I feel like we did not prepare financially enough for having this baby, but somehow some way we will make a way. Only by the grace of God, I can assure you. lol in the past month we paid 1,100 in medical bills with another 200 we still owe on. So at least that is out of the way, lol.

But my freak out mostly comes from feeling like Matthew could be here at any time and NOTHING is ready for his arrival except for my heart. Which is the most important, of course. But I do not plan on co-sleeping. And would love to avoid having him sleep in our room at all if I can handle it (I just think it sets him up for better sleep habits as he gets older). Sooooo...the nursery needs to be done. I have decided the decals can wait until after taxes and such, because that isnt a mandatory thing. But I want the glider/rocker and the dresser before his arrival.

James wants new hunting gear. And a gun barrell. LOL I love my husband. But the motherly instincts in me right now want to rip his head off at times. Pray for him! ;-) Honestly, he has been waiting SO long to get these things, but we had more in medical bills laying around than what I had anticipated at first. Pending when he gets his raise, and how many hours I am able to work...both things MIGHT be able to happen for both of us.

Anyways, I am now 30 weeks. And I don't want to jinx it, but my biggest complaints are when my vagina vein (lol...I now call the contraption I wear my vagina sling...) flares up, and the hot flashes. I love the fact I have now lost my feet when I look straight down. And that strangers are holding the door open for me because they see my belly. I get more smiles, and get to hear some amazing stories from the residents at work about when they had their children. There are uncomfortable moments, where my back hurts, it is hard to breath, and he is stretching so much I feel like he is going to rip my skin open. I may feel like a turtle when I try to roll over in bed, and am really getting sick of doing the lovenox injections every darn day (and not looking forward to twice a day...). BUT all of those discomforts and complaints pale in the light of what is growing inside of my tummy. When I get to feel him having his own little dance party, or when James got to FINALLY feel him kick. Or when I look down and remember what a miracle this little boy truly is. Such a gift from God....that it brings tears to my eyes and takes my breath away.

I cannot wait for him to be here. Whether I feel ready or not, I cannot wait to see his tiny little features that are half from me and half from James. I cannot wait to see James in Daddy mode, or see our parents' facial expressions when they get to meet their new grandson. To be able to call my sister and best friend letting them know it is go time. I am ready for delivery and to have my own story to tell.

Sunday is maternity photos. And it makes me thankful that my belly "popped" again. I am looking at wearing a black dress for some, jeans with a dressier top next to my husband in jeans w/a button up shirt. I have also purchased him a white plain T shirt so we can do a few of them as well possibly.

AND the one I am looking forward to the most, our halloween skeleton shirt picture. This one will be the shirt I have posted about before, with James in a shirt with a skeleton rib cage, and our dog in a skeleton costume.

I have high hopes for these pictures. It will be her first time taking maternity photos, so I am a guinea pig. She is charging $75 and I get the CD with the rights. I am hoping to have photos printed before our family shower at the end of the month so I can have them added to my pregnancy photo album. Then, come end of November/beginning of December if little man is still making my belly expand...I am planning on a few more maternity photos with another family friend. These would be inside shots verses the ones we are doing on Sunday that will be with the fall background (pray the leaves keep their color and not too many fall before then!!).

Also, 6 days til we get to see Matthew again. And then weekly from here on out. It is crazy crunch time!! James isnt going to be able to make it to this one due to work being so busy. I have asked my SIL if she wanted to come....and waiting on a response. I am looking for someone that will be able to drive because I am thinking about working the night before the ultrasound for the extra money. And will want to sleep on the way there, and possibly the way home.

I havent heard from the scheduling lady yet about a 3D ultrasound either. So that might end up not happening. We shall see....

So that's all for now, I will make sure to post baby bump photos later tonight or tomorrow. <3 Hope everyone is having a fantastic week!