Lacking....and Rambling updates

Lately I have been feeling quite blah.

Pretty sure it is because we are lacking in so many areas right now.

From the time I spend with God (or the lack Sundays that I have been able to attend church due to working Sundays...)

To the lack of exercise.

Lack of financial stability (really needing to pick up shifts and get on a strict budget).

To lack of time together alone with James.

Lack of motivation to eat healthy again.

You get the picture. Just exhausted with life. On verge of feeling slightly depressed. Not feeling good about body image. Just blaah.

Things need to change. No more pumpkin spice marshmallows (which are delicious BTW), no more caffeine, no more candy bars, or late night snacks. We need to make smarter choices. No more NCIS marathon sitting on our butts, we need to get out and exercise, pick up the biggest loser DVDs and get active. This fat needs to go.

James has been depressed basically since Matthew was born. He tried to curb not telling me what he had been struggling with by eating food. Eating food made him gain weight making him more depressed. He tried for 2 weeks to lose weight, it usually melts off...this time he lost 2 lbs.

That only made him feel less confident in himself. He is up 30 lbs right now. Clothes aren't fitting right any more but with work he is struggling to make the time to exercise. And finances make it hard to eat healthy at times.

But the excuses need to fade away, right along with our fat. His dad is going through a 6 month journaling time to prepare for gastric bipass. He has struggled with his weight since I have known James. Diet after diet, nothing has worked. He really doesn't eat badly, and he is active for a man his size. He is not the stereotypical fat person. He weighs close to 500lbs. Basically our family doctor told him it is his genetics, there is no other weight loss plan he could put him on.

So now we are kind of fearing if James doesn't get a grip on it soon he will be down the same path. And if that is what he is going to have to do to maintain a healthy weight we would almost rather it be done sooner rather than later so he doesn't ruin his joints.

I always kind of thought bipass was the fat persons lazy way out. But truly it isn't. It is for some, and for others (like James's dad) it is a last resort because he wants to be around to watch his grandchildren grow up. And we want him around. It will be crazy to see the weight melt off him in the next year.

I just hope it is melting off James and I as well during the process, that or my belly is round with a baby growing inside of it :-). Either way, I want to be jogging 5ks here pretty soon and continue through our next pregnancy.

Oh and an update on the sweetcorn? We have made back seed money. And we still have a quarter of an acre that isn't ready. Next year James is going to plant somewhere from 1.5-2 acres up from the 1/2 that we planted today, and we haven't talked to my mom but we hope to do a garden over at her place. Because I think she would help us with upkeep, and as much as I am over there with Matthew it would be more plausible than doing it down to James's parents house.

Anyways, exam time is almost here. I have to get at least a 30% to pass the class. I didn't really study and decided if I failed then I deserve to fail...but hoping and believing I am going to pass :-)