Little Bit About Me

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First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.

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CAUTION

All writing in this blog is unedited and 100% from what I am feeling at the time. By continuing to read it means that you will take my vents with a grain of salt. You will choose to not take offense. And most of all, if you know me in real life you will either choose to stop reading or keep the knowledge of this blog quiet, and privately allow me to know you are reading. I only share this information with close friends. I do not share this with facebook for a purpose: it is meant to be semi-private. Not "public" knowledge in the sense of the majority of those in real life knowing about it. If you can accept all that has been stated, sit back, grab a box of tissues, and be prepared to endure the rocky road of trying to conceive while trying to get out of the shadows of infertility.

If you have any private questions or concerns you may contact me at mynotesonttc at gmail.com




Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Praising The Lord

Today I realized something. I have been afraid to fervently pray like Hannah did for Samuel. Because I don't want bitterness to take hold of my heart during the wait. I don't want hope deferred to make my heart sick.

I want to lean on God but not give up the reigns....and quite frankly that is NOT at ALL how it works.

People tell me to go see an RE. But to be honest I think the biggest reason I haven't made it a priority or a goal is because I want 100% all of the glory to go to God. It might sound silly.

I in all of my broken fertility and misshapen body am fearfully and wonderfully made. God knows what he is doing. He is the creator of ALL life and he knows what needs to happen to create a little one within my womb. He can do it. And I can pray fervently without bitterness clinging in my heart.

So here I am praising God for all the healthy babies being born or developing in wombs around me and thanking him for the presence of another miracle. I am praising the Lord for all he has done in my life and all that he will do.

Matthew and I have again had the discussion about babies and mommas belly. it tugs at my heart and makes me wish I had been more conscious of food choices during my fall healing time. I am obese still. How is that for praising the Lord? Prayers for motivation and continued healing both of my knee and my heart as we prepare our bodies to try for another and run the race that God has set before us. May we remember how truly blessed we all are. ♡

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