.3 Away and Gusting Wind

I am thankful I followed my gut and got blood work done this morning. With this gusting wind and snow outside I am thankful for a snow day tomorrow, and desperately praying for my hubby to get home safely. I found out I am still considered pregnant, stupid body. 5.3 needs to be less than 5. SO when suitable to go out again, I am going to test again to make sure under 5, then will be waiting 4-6 weeks for AF to show up. *Praying for the 4 weeks, so the wait of 2 cycles is shorter*

I have found a website that has helped a lot with the what to expect after loss, first period after miscarriage, and such. It has a plan for getting pregnant faster. It says 40% of women following the plan after one cycle post miscarriage end up pregnant. I intend to be one of those 40%. Lets see what God has in plan. I think we may start after first cycle, even though Dr. said two. We'll see how I am feeling then, how the house is moving along, and if I have a job as a CNA. That is one thing that is going to be a stipulation. I MUST have a better paying job before we try again.

I am so tired, emotions frazzled. Another high school friend is pregnant. And I have to say, it is NOT that I am not so incredibly happy for them. It's the finding it in my heart to show rejoicing when my heart is weeping. At times it doesn't seem fair, but God knows what is best for me, even if it sucks at the time. My heart breaks and heals every day. I am so thankful that my God is the ultimate healer and knows me better than I know myself. I have two options in all of this to be bitter, jealous, and angry or to accept that I feel broken, cannot do it on my own, and continue to love and follow Jesus. I choose the 2nd option, I have done life alone, and you feel SO incredibly alone.

If you think of me be praying for my homework situation. I am hoping tomorrow will be a huge blessing with restoration and catchup. Yet, for now I am going to just listen to worship music and pray for my husband to get home safely.