Prayers

Lord my heart feels so big tonight. You are utterly amazing. This semester for school I get to see your new miracles as they transition into this world. From ones that are just hatched, to ones that are getting ready to go home with their mommy and daddy. It makes me giddy. It makes my heart swell with how amazing you are to be able to form such a miracle that starts out so tiny and ends up growing into this cuddly little baby.

How amazing is that? Even if you chose to not let us experience another viable healthy pregnancy, I would still be so amazed by the journey from conception to delivery. I cannot help but wish, and hope, and pray for this pregnancy. As light of lines as they are, the nausea I experienced after taking my prenatal before testing, the bloating, extra peeing, and the now sore nipples let me know you are at work once again in my body.

And just as you know every desire of my heart. Just as you know when I lie down, and when I get up. Just as you know the plans for my life. Your know the plans for this little guy as well. You know how long his heart will beat, if he will get to breath a breath of life, and if James and I will get to see his tiny little body and snuggle him close. You know what is best for all of us, and I just pray that this journey to growing our family is perfect for what you have planned for us. May you guide us and protect us, and also allow us to do the same to our future children and Matthew.

I love you Lord. And as often as I go to the bathroom to check to see if I am spotting, I pray that you keep that doubt and worry away from me as you are here with me and our baby. Help me to cherish every moment that we have with this little one, and find joy in this pregnancy, even if the days are short.

Please allow my hopes and desires to be matched with yours and allow us to be greeting a new bundle of joy to our family within the next 9 months. Matthew loves babies, and he would love to have a baby brother or sister.

Protect this baby, and help him grow to his full potential. Help me to make smarter eating choices and to take it easy on myself as this fatigue takes over me!

I only ask these things and say thank you for it all because I know that you listen to my heart, you answer impossible prayers, and you and your Son are SO much bigger than any fear or worry I could be having.