Dream For Me

Casting Crowns - Dream for You (Official Lyric Vi…: http://youtu.be/R8nsJZx8eWw

I love this song! It definitely stays in my rotation of go to songs.

God this is my prayer tonight. That you will continue to dream for me. Even when the future seems too bleak to continue dreaming and wishing. I pray that there will continue to be a spark in my heart that reminds me of how you can start a fire in my heart to follow through with what needs to be done to have these dreams come to pass.

Friends, it is getting harder and harder to see pregnancy announcements and birth announcements and gender reveals. I swear if you are having fertility issues just become my friend and you will become a fertile myrtle and you won't need to worry about miscarriages because I have had enough for 10 women. Because believe me going though one is enough. And 10 seems unimaginable. Please note the sarcastic tone mixed with a touch of reality.

But here I sit. Or lay rather. In bed. With this reality. Life isn't at all what I dreamed but clearly God has another plan. We find strength in our brokenness. And hope when all seems hopeless.

I am struggling more than I even let on to myself at times I think even if that doesn't make sense to the lay person...This stupid Psych clinical really has me doing much self reflection.

Finances are still a rough time due to having to pay out of pocket for school this semester.

Weight isn't moving due to me being an Emotional eater. Feeling blue? Have a hot fudge sundae or maybe a package of cookies with a huge glass of milk. Okay a little sarcasm on that last part. But it is bad....I assure you.

And then there is the fact that somehow breastfeeding uncovered seems to have altered who is my friend or comfortable to be around me. I have suppressed writing or talking about this because for fear of putting my best friend in the middle and thus possibly losing her as well due to making her uncomfortable with this ridiculous situation. And I repeat ridiculous. Because if you can wear a bikini on the beach around other people's spouses or men in general then me breastfeeding discreetly uncovered shouldn't be an issue.

See my struggle lately?

Then I tell myself clearly God hasn't planned for them to remain in my circle of friends if something this silly can cause this big of a concern. You get the picture.

So my hope is that God will continue to lead the path in our lives.  Be it with weight loss, diet and exercise or our circle of friends. That he will prepare my body for another healthy pregnancy and at the same time help us get a better handle on our finances. That God will dream for me so I can better see the plans he has for me in this life.

*sigh*  things will get better. Because they say though sorrow may last for the night;  joy comes in the morning.