Today is the day.

I know I owe more of a story about M. Present moment, he is still MIA and we havent heard from him, nor expect to. Will update more on that later today after some sleep and hopefully some good news.

Less than 3 hours and I will be sitting legs in stirrups with a dilldo cam up my vajajay (haha have to have humor, and it is the truth...).

I am nervous. And idk if that is what is causing me to have this upset stomach/nausea/queasiness or what. We have gotten so excited about this pregnancy, and have dared to dream. And let hope take flight.

And after 5 early losses...that is a scary thing to do.

I really am feeling like spewing this morning. Quite disgusting. I need to eatbbut every time I put something in mouth it makes stomach get worse. I am kind of gassy as well, burping a lot. Which is not a good sign for me....it usually preceeds vomit.

I am pooped from working 4 days in a row (I know poor baby, but I am not used to nights again =( and I slept like caca Sunday). Worn out. Big time, between weekend M stress and work....I am ready for just relaxing and sleeping.

I tried sleeping yesterday, but I had such a vivid crazy dream. And I mean CRAZY. We are talking Jurasic Park like, they had a "fake" park....imitating the movie. Turns out it wasn't fake. And there was a big school hooked to it as well. We found out it wasnt fake when a girl was showing us (my sister S and I) around, when all of a sudden I felt a rumble. And told the girl to drive faster. She didnt. Poor choice. There were two T-Rex chasing after each other....until they saw us. *gulp* The girl got hurt, S and I were safe. Got our family out of the park and drove home. But the park got wind of it. And sent Raptors to our house to kill us. No joke. But my husband was amazing and saved the day. I woke up holding my breath (so they wouldnt see me...oiy). It was intense.

On baby news. This is how excited James has gotten. We had agreed many yonders ago (before officially starting ttc) that we would be surprised y the sex of the baby at birth. Well...he has decided he is going to find out. Even if I don't.  And I believe he would do something radical like call up and tell the doctor I am an emotional wreck and want to know....just so they would tell him! LOL So we may have to come to middle ground and do a gender reveal party. Where everyone gets surprised at the same time. We would get gender written on slip of paper in sealed envelop take it to my favorite local bakery and order a white cake with instructions to dye cake batter blue or pink to make the reveal as we cut into it.

But that is about 10 weeks at least in the future. See....hopes are soaring! Especially when I think about how at 7 and a half weeks babies are now the size of a raspberry. Isn't that amazing?

<3