Surgery and All that Jazz

So I had my acl repair on the 28th. It was not so much fun. Still isn't. 3 little incisions. And lots of swelling. I had pretty much stopped taking Norco or Ultram.  And then they took out my stitches and told me to wean off my crutches and that there was no need to wear my acl brace when at home yesterday at my follow up appointment. So superwoman me didn't use the crutches at all today. And OUCH! Let's just say Norco is my friend at night and Ultram during the day...along with Tylenol and ibuprofen.

Also 3x a week I get to do PT. This is one expensive fall let me tell you. And still trying to get my insurance figured out because I got a bill in the mail that says we owe over 3,000. Which I am 99% sure isn't right due to the fact that it says insurance has paid 0. And it is just for the surgeons office and not the hospital.

This knee has given me a glimpse into what a stroke patient must feel. Because sometimes I just physically cannot move it the way I want to. It is like dead weight and not so much fun.

I haven't been blogging much lately but I have been writing in a journal. My prayer journal and it has been like digging down deep and centering myself and finding me again. It has been nice. I have been missing that "me" time.

Sorry this blog is going to be all over the place...I even sat down and read my paper journal from during our infertility/multiple losses and I cried. I cannot believe we endured that time and are still together. And we have a miracle of a toddler to call our own. We are immensely blessed. A true testimony of God's goodness. From our first loss we would have had a three year old this summer. And that blows my mind. It also blew my mind to see at when Matthew was 6 months old and get got pregnant how excited I was to "have another peanut".

I have also been reading (listening really as it is an audio book) The Circle Maker. And it is making come back to what I knew previously and haven't been living. God loves audacious prayer. He loves answering prayers in ways that you will be able to 100% tell it was Him and give all the glory back to him. Good book so far! And so many good testimonies that have made me cry!

And while on the glory topic. Joel Osteen's wife...OIY! There is a clip stating that we don't do things to glorify God but to make us happy because that glorifies God. Um...no. have they read Job? Or can they explain cancer or infertility or pregnancy and infant loss? That brings NO joy and we still find ways to glorify God during those moments when we pray and stay faithful to him. That couple gives me the heebies and millions follow them. And I truly believe it is a false religious movement.

End that little rant.

Now about school...no school for me this semester and possibly this year. And if they wanted to be jerks. Technically they could make me apply LPN to RN and make me retake classes I have already taken I think.

And then there is money. We are officially getting medical bills garnished. I haven't made payments since my first fall because been trying to catch up on things that matter (aka house, electricity, car insurance, food...you get the picture). So now I have to call to see how much is going to get garnished so I can do a budget. And stick to it better than we have been. Because I am sick of living paycheck to paycheck and being in debt up to our ears.

So a year off from school might be better for me if I were honest with myself. A 3rd shift position has opened up at work and I am in debate about trying it. It would mean I could pick up short term disability for me and feel more comfortable trying to conceive. Because the yearning for a baby definitely hasn't gone away. Idk. At a loss for what to do. Going to part time would mean I could pick up days they are short on my opposite weekend for double time. And possibly during the week for time and a half or double time pending on how many hours I have worked. The downfall is figuring out what Matthew will do in the mornings so James can leave on time for work (and then there is the issue of sleep if it wasn't in a row I could handle just a nap in the morning and then sleep like a normal person at night).

Sorry for that rabbit hole...As I said all over the place and prayers are appreciated.

Here are my specific prayers.

○ For God to move in our finances to help us get out of throat crushing debt and into financial freedom.
○ A decision on what to do for work.
○ For my medical bills to be figured out, swelling to go down in my left knee, full range of motion and strength to be back before I return to work (I have a work release for the 22nd).
○ For James and I to not suffer any more losses and be able to experience a healthy and uneventful pregnancy.

That is all for now. Thanks for sticking with me if you did :-)