Little Bit About Me

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First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.

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CAUTION

All writing in this blog is unedited and 100% from what I am feeling at the time. By continuing to read it means that you will take my vents with a grain of salt. You will choose to not take offense. And most of all, if you know me in real life you will either choose to stop reading or keep the knowledge of this blog quiet, and privately allow me to know you are reading. I only share this information with close friends. I do not share this with facebook for a purpose: it is meant to be semi-private. Not "public" knowledge in the sense of the majority of those in real life knowing about it. If you can accept all that has been stated, sit back, grab a box of tissues, and be prepared to endure the rocky road of trying to conceive while trying to get out of the shadows of infertility.

If you have any private questions or concerns you may contact me at mynotesonttc at gmail.com




Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Disheartened - 18 dpo

I skipped going to get my hcg draw tonight as I had a long day at work, the progesterone made me dizzy, nauseated, and filled with overwhelming fatigue. I felt like I was in a fog. I held my urine for as long as yesterday and the day before...and I got this test. The bottom one.


As you may be able to see in the photo, the test was a little lighter. Not by much, but still not a good sign for me. Or my little one. And I cannot even talk myself into chalking it up to the fact that I peed on the test after it had been left in my car for 2 days in cold temps, because the same happened on the middle test, but for just one day.  

And just FYI. Top test is the day I got my beta. The middle is yesterday. Bottom is today.

I will get a beta done tomorrow morning.

On other news, our pellet stove broke...again. It is negative temps here in Michigan did I mention that? Shoot me now. Hard to try to keep your head up and feel optimistic when life keeps pissing on your hopes and dreams. I am still going to set up an appointment after the nurse calls with results either tomorrow or friday. Pending how early I have lab drawn and when it gets done. 

I am officially out of tests. And maybe out of hope for this cycle. 

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