Making Me Wonder

I just watched a documentary, Pregnant in America. It was an eye opener in some aspects, but in many it wasn't. First of all, did you know that it's recommended that c-sections do not go above 10% for a national average? And that the USA is at 30%! That is 1 out of 3 women that are getting caesarians! How crazy is that? And this data is a little data, 2006 I believe. I am floored, but a point of why this could be is obvious in two areas. First of all, women do not fully understand that your due date is more like a guess date. Your baby could be two weeks late and healthy as an ox (though maybe as big as one too, haha). Because Drs. push for c-sections. When your belly is looking like you're gonna pop, but your cervix says nope the Drs. push for either a c-section if the baby is looking large, or to be induced. And often this also ties in with the second main reason for c-sections. Drs schedules. I remember my sister in law saying that her Dr wanted to induce her because she was going to be on vacation, well at least this Dr. was honest. The one in the video simply pushed for c-section saying the baby was "too large" for her stature. Funny, the day after he scheduled her c-section (which she didn't go through with) he was on vacation.

Another thing truly got my attention the area where they talk about cytotec being given for induction of labor. I can tell you one thing...if a Dr ever comes at me with it when I am slow to come into full blown labor then they will get an earful. I may ask for the sheet documenting all the risks for pregnant women, highlight them. And pass it back saying "No way am I going to put myself or my baby at risk" To top it off, why would I want to use the same drug that help me pass my child that stopped growing at 6 weeks. I knew FDA didn't recommend for women, but the fact that a Dr. can still prescribe it as such is kind of shocking to me.

The video talks about various things, like how women are strong enough to endure natural child birth. And that we should go through it so we can feel empowered. A man even stated something along the lines of, he never saw a women in her full power until he saw her deliver naturally. I cannot wait to go down that road. Heck, I cannot wait to be pregnant. This month is our first month back in the trying to conceive business. I am excited, but now my brain is questioning so many more things!

Like how come birth is cheaper in Canada (by exponential amount if facing c-section)? Or how come Holland does mostly home births and here in the US it's like you are an alien if you tell some one you won't be going to a hospital unless it's an emergency? And where can I comfortably fit in in all of this? I have always wanted to have a baby with a midwife, maybe with a water birth! Yet, with me having to be on blood thinners when pregnant I doubt that that can even be a possibility. Let alone an at home birth that I think would be amazing. I do not want to sit in a hospital bed eating just ice chips when I am laboring. I want to have choices. I want to be able to move around, maybe give birth in a different position than flat on my back. Yet, with my hospital being Sparrow at the moment I am going to have to do some research. I was attempting to do some research when I saw they just have delivered their 250,000 baby. Amazing! But, any further research may wait, because I feel as if my brain is too much on baby, and not enough on God. I need to leave it up to him, but I have to tell ya...it is SO hard to give up that control.

I was praying last night, and I think the hardest thing to admit is that lately I have been worrying, stressing, and being anxious more than praying to God. And over lots of things, not just baby. lol I am trying to give these things over to God. They are not from Him, nor are they mine to keep! Last night was a busy night, I couldn't sleep so I spent some time with God. I read week 1 of Praying Through Your Pregnancy (if you want to check out her website click here). The first week of book is all about pre-conception and giving it up to God. And I just got over week 1 not to long ago. Soon enough it will be ovulation time and the dreaded two week wait. I'm just going to have faith that within the next three months a small one will be growing healthily in my womb. and that a year or less I will be holding a baby in my arms.

I also started writing in my journal(s) again last night. Writing letters to my child that I am sure I will one day meet, my prayer journal, and I also started reading my Bible. I want to start reading it every day, will you keep me accountable? I don't even know for sure if people truly read my blog, lol so a post from someone to keep me on track would be wonderful. To help with this, accountability partner or not, I'm going to try to post a little blip on what I am reading. Like last night, I started in Luke and I began to think about how amazing it is that John in Elizabeth's womb knew Jesus was inside of Mary. John wiggled for joy, so much that Elizabeth knew for sure. Simply by hearing Mary's voice. How amazing is that? :-) Makes me smile.

Hope you all have a blessed day! I am off to shower (yes, I realize it's 530 and I'm still in PJs. I didn't get out of them at all yesterday either, so there!) and then do some more chores around the house & go get some hangers so I can hang up the rest of James's clothes. I tell ya, for as much as he has teased me about having too many clothes in the past...I think he beats me now!