So I had blood work done Friday. My hcg beta was only 3900ish. Meaning in two weeks it hadn't even doubled. If they had continued testing my heart wouldn't have had to go through the waiting and wondering. Just the pain of waiting for my miscarriage to start (which is where I am at still...seems my body is crazy and doesn't know if wants to be pregnant still or miscarry. I am spotting and cramping. I have increased sense of smell and increased distaste to foods. I have this funky metallic taste in my mouth. I'm a horrid mess).
To top everything off James and I were lying in bed talking last night when I started laughing and then crying like a flip of a switch and didn't know why. We've talked about how maybe we should probably wait until I am done with school before we are trying again. Or mostly done with classes, though I don't know if I want to go through this pain again when in school.
Often things strike my heart and want to come bursting forth. They come spilling out onto the page, or computer screen. With ink filling pages or my fingers flying across the keyboard, my mind going a million miles a minute, and my heart crying out to be heard. Here is where you’ll find those things, my little notes on life.
Little Bit About Me
- Jess
- First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.
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