Little Bit About Me

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First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.

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CAUTION

All writing in this blog is unedited and 100% from what I am feeling at the time. By continuing to read it means that you will take my vents with a grain of salt. You will choose to not take offense. And most of all, if you know me in real life you will either choose to stop reading or keep the knowledge of this blog quiet, and privately allow me to know you are reading. I only share this information with close friends. I do not share this with facebook for a purpose: it is meant to be semi-private. Not "public" knowledge in the sense of the majority of those in real life knowing about it. If you can accept all that has been stated, sit back, grab a box of tissues, and be prepared to endure the rocky road of trying to conceive while trying to get out of the shadows of infertility.

If you have any private questions or concerns you may contact me at mynotesonttc at gmail.com



♥

Monday, April 16, 2012

Where Paranoia and Faith Meet

I keep thinking I am going to start bleeding any time now....crampy feel wet. Run to bathroom wipe.

Nothing. Maybe some brown. But otherwise. Nothing.

Paranoia.

I am even going to buy some more tests. This is ridiculous. Why can I not relax like other pregnant women?!?!

To top it off I thought the pharmacy closed at 10. Nope 9. So now before class tomorrow I need to pick up my lovenox, and call about getting a refill on my blood pressure medicine. Because I ran out after this morning and didnt reallize til after doctor called that my refills were out as well.

Then this evening I sneezed and it hurt, bad...near my uterus. And my first thought was, "Don't dislodge baby!" Ridiculous really....

*sigh*

Then when doing a quick run in for tilapia (for our dog...) and the 88c pregnancy tests I get side tracked.

Baby clothes.

Where faith comes into play. I bought 2 onesies. One says, "Grandpa's little fishing buddy" and the other says, "Mommy cranky. Daddy's Not home. Call 1800GRANDMA" I am thinking part of how we tell them.

Faith says we will have these babies in our arms in December.
Faith says there could be twins.
But if there is one, we wont know what we are having til he/she appears in this world so still both onesies are appropriate.

Yes friends. Faith and hope are soaring. If it comes crashing down around me, will you promise to be here to pick me up?

Where faith and paranoia meet. Wanting to run home to poas and check the TP....but also buying onesies.

Oiy.

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3 comments:

  1. robinApril 16, 2012 at 11:48 PM

    I also think about dislodging the babies! When I sneeze, cough, or poop, I'm like, stay in there little guys!!! I think it's pretty hard to dislodge them, though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. JessApril 17, 2012 at 12:09 AM

      I am so glad I am not the only crazy one! LOL

      Delete
  2. LoryApril 17, 2012 at 12:55 PM

    I've had those crazy notions too. Every time i coughed, sneezed, fell, threw up....etc I always worried i would hurt the baby.
    Of course we'll be here to pick you up BUT I have faith that your baby(s) will be in your arms come December.

    Praying as always <3

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