Cant sleep...anxious...

Anxious to test.
And anxious because my father's wife facebooked me to let me know he is going into surgery Thursday to place a stent in his heart.

This leaves the questioning...of what to do about dad. Talk to him or just pray for him?

And by the way, it is now 5am and I can't sleep. Woke up having to pee, was too hot, and had heart burn. Seriously. So I tested. Regardless of going at 130 am. Another bfn.

Starting to think I am out this month, regardless of nipple soreness not going away. I am now debating about finding something to munch on while watching some TV or laying back in bed.

Have I mentioned I think my urine super stinks again? And seeing as I experienced that last month when I wasn't...I am voting no from that too.

I would LOVE to be wrong.

In the meanwhile, I am praying for bfps, smooth surgery for my dad, and for kcc to get back to me. (I emailed them yesterday, got tired of waiting....)

Have I mentioned I don't know if I could deal with myself if something happened to Dad and I didn't talk to him? He is still my dad, regardless of his stupidity with relationships. Regardless of all the hurt feelings and hurts he has caused. Regardless of choosing not to come to my wedding. I still love him, but that doesn't mean I have to like him. He most likely won't change.

Just as I wish for the second line to pop up on my test, it doesn't change diddly squat.