I have some cramping...I'm trying not to obsess. But look at me...I am.*sigh*
Seriously?! I almost caved and tested today. This is the longest I have waited to test in a LONG time. I usually start between 8dpo and now. Every cycle from the beginning. So you could say, I haven't waited this long to test since we weren't trying..probably even when I was on a "break" due to miscarriages. Not kidding. Completely serious. But this resisting is making me crazy.
My nipples feel like they are being scraped up against sandpaper just chilling here in my bra (okay when not wearing a sports bra...which I am now). Touching them? James goes for it and I dream of going into ninja mode so I can karate chop his arm in half (okay a little severe...maybe). My nipples hurt way worse than the sides of my boobs. The worst since I have been....pregnant.
Then I talk myself out of that. I have cramping, and sadly when I think of cramping + pregnancy for me makes me think of miscarriage. I know it is normal for pregnancies...but it makes me afraid. When I know I shouldn't be.
Catch my Catch 22? Full circle round and round. What if all of these symptoms are due to Clomid? Again...?
I am driving myself crazy, I think I can only take one more cycle of this before I take a break, before I have to take a break. But I can't help but hope this will be a 9 month break from TTC. One that will be filled with true pregnancy symptoms, uncomfortable growing body, and pure happiness and joy. Could this be my month? Can I wait 4 more days to test? UUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH. Frustrated and impatient...
Countdown Stats:
DPO: 10
Days til HPT: 4
Days til KCC gets a call: 7 (UNLESS I decide to make the call Friday...then it will be 4 also)
l Caved...BFN Guess who is going to have to buy more tests? Me because I have one left.
Seriously?! I almost caved and tested today. This is the longest I have waited to test in a LONG time. I usually start between 8dpo and now. Every cycle from the beginning. So you could say, I haven't waited this long to test since we weren't trying..probably even when I was on a "break" due to miscarriages. Not kidding. Completely serious. But this resisting is making me crazy.
My nipples feel like they are being scraped up against sandpaper just chilling here in my bra (okay when not wearing a sports bra...which I am now). Touching them? James goes for it and I dream of going into ninja mode so I can karate chop his arm in half (okay a little severe...maybe). My nipples hurt way worse than the sides of my boobs. The worst since I have been....pregnant.
Then I talk myself out of that. I have cramping, and sadly when I think of cramping + pregnancy for me makes me think of miscarriage. I know it is normal for pregnancies...but it makes me afraid. When I know I shouldn't be.
Catch my Catch 22? Full circle round and round. What if all of these symptoms are due to Clomid? Again...?
I am driving myself crazy, I think I can only take one more cycle of this before I take a break, before I have to take a break. But I can't help but hope this will be a 9 month break from TTC. One that will be filled with true pregnancy symptoms, uncomfortable growing body, and pure happiness and joy. Could this be my month? Can I wait 4 more days to test? UUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHH. Frustrated and impatient...
Countdown Stats:
DPO: 10
Days til HPT: 4
Days til KCC gets a call: 7 (UNLESS I decide to make the call Friday...then it will be 4 also)
l Caved...BFN Guess who is going to have to buy more tests? Me because I have one left.
No comments:
Post a Comment
I love hearing from my readers, and look forward to your comments. So go ahead...leave me some love!