Waiting for things to happen is something I am not always gracious with.
James isn't so good with when finances are tight/behind. And because I pay the bills he sometimes takes the crankiness out on me. Well...with vacation we were going to be okay. Then came along sickness. Which made this weeks pay check equal 200 buckeroos. 80 of which goes directly to car payment. So 120 combined with my check (less than 600 this week...they messed up and left off my vacation pay!)...needs to pay about 950 in bills. Ha. Impossible. Not happening. So I get to pay a partial house payment, and a few smaller bills, so we can have gas money and food (which we are currently lacking on). Oh and Jack Jack needs to go to the vet. His ears are infected, he has bitten patches of hair off, and has a patch of dry skin under his nose from licking so much...I am tired of his issues too. Even our dog is challenged, stupid allergies.
Things will be okay. But it definitely stresses James out. I roll with the punches...with finances.
Rolls switch with trying to conceive. James rolls with the punches, moodiness (sometimes he does give it right back though), the opks sitting on the bathroom sink.
Me? I stress. I hate that we have to spend $ on opks, pregnancy tests, progesterone level testing, pre-seed, excessive vitamins, and other ttc things. Why do I hate it? Because I don't have my rainbow yet. We have easily spent over a thousand dollars on all things ttc over the last year.
But last night I took a small step, and prayed for us. I cried just because it is hard. Sometimes it feels too stinking hard. I am hoping joy is around the corner. That sadness and waiting will not continue for much longer.
I am 5dpo. I have had some cramping. My bbs hurt. But I ignore these things for most of the day...I am done symptom watching. I can't do it any longer. It makes me crazy. I am sure I will fall pray to it later on in this cycle, but for now? We have done all we can do. And the rest...well it's in His hands.
Also, 9 days until the end of September. 9 days until KCC will be receiving another phone call from me about our letters if we haven't received them yet. I am getting annoyed. And I try not to get excited when I check the mail, but a little bit of me feels defeated when I don't have it yet.
9 days until the end of September. 9 days until AF will be a day away. 9 days until surely I should have either 1 or 2 pink lines staring back at me. Either way...on that day. I will post. Hopefully with good news 2 for 2.
James isn't so good with when finances are tight/behind. And because I pay the bills he sometimes takes the crankiness out on me. Well...with vacation we were going to be okay. Then came along sickness. Which made this weeks pay check equal 200 buckeroos. 80 of which goes directly to car payment. So 120 combined with my check (less than 600 this week...they messed up and left off my vacation pay!)...needs to pay about 950 in bills. Ha. Impossible. Not happening. So I get to pay a partial house payment, and a few smaller bills, so we can have gas money and food (which we are currently lacking on). Oh and Jack Jack needs to go to the vet. His ears are infected, he has bitten patches of hair off, and has a patch of dry skin under his nose from licking so much...I am tired of his issues too. Even our dog is challenged, stupid allergies.
Things will be okay. But it definitely stresses James out. I roll with the punches...with finances.
Rolls switch with trying to conceive. James rolls with the punches, moodiness (sometimes he does give it right back though), the opks sitting on the bathroom sink.
Me? I stress. I hate that we have to spend $ on opks, pregnancy tests, progesterone level testing, pre-seed, excessive vitamins, and other ttc things. Why do I hate it? Because I don't have my rainbow yet. We have easily spent over a thousand dollars on all things ttc over the last year.
But last night I took a small step, and prayed for us. I cried just because it is hard. Sometimes it feels too stinking hard. I am hoping joy is around the corner. That sadness and waiting will not continue for much longer.
I am 5dpo. I have had some cramping. My bbs hurt. But I ignore these things for most of the day...I am done symptom watching. I can't do it any longer. It makes me crazy. I am sure I will fall pray to it later on in this cycle, but for now? We have done all we can do. And the rest...well it's in His hands.
Also, 9 days until the end of September. 9 days until KCC will be receiving another phone call from me about our letters if we haven't received them yet. I am getting annoyed. And I try not to get excited when I check the mail, but a little bit of me feels defeated when I don't have it yet.
9 days until the end of September. 9 days until AF will be a day away. 9 days until surely I should have either 1 or 2 pink lines staring back at me. Either way...on that day. I will post. Hopefully with good news 2 for 2.
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