I have been dreaming all the time lately. A few days ago about a resident that is the hospital. That she came back and died. What do you know...she is coming back on hospice.
Today I dreamed my ob called me. No missed calls...but I did have a voice mail. The doctors office. What do you know...
I my dear friends have a banana for a womb. A unicornuate uterus.
People thought unicorns didn't exist? They are wrong! I have one in my pelvic region. Good news, I have 2 ovaries. Bad news only one is hooked up.
Oh and I also have fibroids on the outside of my "uterine cavity" as was described.
Today is u/s. Now hopefully I have 2 functioning kidneys.
I am feeling like a real bitch. Don't tell me "it will happen" unless God has directly told you. Because there isn't any sure fire message to me. I have to change my thinking so it will match up to whatever God's thinking is. I don't need those comments or the "I know your pain" when you haven't experienced infertility or loss. I will take the knowledge you are thinking and praying, that you are sympathetic and compassionate to what we are going through. That you empathize with me...but don't sit there with baby in arms saying you know my sorrow. Because You. Don't.
The hateful bitch in me isn't about my news, rather the other drama in my life at the moment.
A had a meeting today with her child sexual abuse doctor. Aunt K told Mom she could go with. What happened you ask? Mom shows up and K is gone with A. Guess who let A spend the night at a friends house last night so her POS pedophilac husband could spend the night? You guessed it...K. The night before her daughter had a rape kit set up she isn't there for her...surprise surprise. And leaves my Uncle J (who owns the home) wishing he still drank. So prayers be to him that he stays strong and dry after all these years.
My mom drove to GR even though the hospital wouldn't tell them if they met up to appt. She is looking for K's truck in the parking lot. Because as of now she told Uncle J that she was taking N to a counseling session in their county. I think she is delusional herself and needs to get locked up in a looney bin.
If I see her any time soon I will full on punch her in the face, pressed charges and a night in jail would be all the while worth it. She is a piece of shit. A deserves better that her so called "mother".
I am frustrated beyond all means, pissed off and running on 3 and a half hours of sleep. Don't mess with me, because I am not holding back.
You have every right to feel what you're feeling and this is a good place to let it out. I've been thinking of you often. I hope you can get through all this - it's a lot to handle at one time. Praying for you <3
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