I am not gonna lie this is exactly what I needed tonight. I was feeling down about seeing so many pregnant women and mothers on fbook. Feeling down about my current situation: broken physically and financially and feeling unable to continue TTC.
Anyways I was finishing up with a resident, and all of a sudden she looks to the side of her bed and smiles ear to ear. She looks at me, pointing at the empy air, and says, "My! Look at the children! You have such a beautiful family!!" I laugh. My coworker says, "Really, Jess, I wanna knoww when your gonna start having a family." Kind of joking because she knows my struggle.
And I reply, thinking of my other resident interaction, "Well...I have had miscarriages..."
"FOUR!!!" She yelled out.
I just laugh and smile. She saw my babies! She saw my children. My family that's in heaven.
The moment was lost when Nichole trying to not be freaked out says, "Four what?" "Oh four bucks." LOL This lady though is the same one that looked at a coworker who had literally JUST found out she was pregnant, and only her husband knew, and said, "We are so excited for your new arrival!" But this time when she asked the resident "What?!" She replied...."You know, the baby."
AHHHH. I would love to have THAT interaction. For a resident to know I am pregnant, not for them to see my babies in heaven, but...for now I'll take knowing we make cute babies, and we are a cute family. And one day instead of knowing them in my heart, I will know them as I hold them in heaven.
Ok, this gave me chills! What an awesome "God thing" just when you needed it! Hold on to that! Have you ever read "Heaven is for Real?" If not, check it out. You will cry but you won't be able to put it down.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read that book but it is on my wish list of books to buy so I can read. I have heard it is a major tear jerker. <3 I forgot to mention...both times the residents have mentioned my babies I have been starting my period. Crazy! But totally has to be a God thing!
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