6dpo & weekend away.

Today I am 6dpo in my attempt-to-not-obsess-about-pregnancy-"symptoms" I shouldn't tell you I slept so much today and can't help but wonder if it's truly 3rd shift, or if it is hormones. Or that my nips are feeling sensitive and I'm trying to avoid thinking about it. Or how about the fact that James's SA is tomorrow and early next week we will have test results that will either say nay, or yay to going on clomid.

Which btw we are still in debate about. If we need to go on it, it might wait for when I am done for school. But James still wants to avoid 100% so we'll see. We are praying for God's guidance (though not as often as we should).

Lately I've been slacking on reading my Bible again. How is it that I can fall so desperately in love with God and His Word then fall out of habit? Am I like Israel in the Bible grieving him for falling away? I desperately crave not to be...but I know often I fail to be a Christian woman that reads her Bible *sigh* I will get better. This is a journey of my life, a crazy bumpy road that I get to endure!

Have I mentioned our weekend away? Because I am so excited! It is going to help keep my mind of testing until the earliest that I can or should test. And even then I might try to wait to test until a day or so before AF is supposed to appear. I am hoping next week will bring lots of excitement as we pursue Adoption via foster parenting (and maybe a + preg test, that would be WONDERFUL!). Have I also mentioned we are going to go forth with adoption even if I do get pregnant? It's crazy to me to think that we could turn from a family of 2 to a family of 4 quite quickly. It brings tears to my eyes at times to think about our child that God already knows about that will be joining our arms first. I'm ready to pick a little infant up from the hospital. So ready! Now to wait for God's perfect timing whether it's 2 months or 9 months or even longer. I just feel this wonderfully intimidating feeling...to be at peace with what God has prompted us to go forth with!

Makes me want to jump for joy, yet also hide. Does that make sense? I think it's like the veil that Moses had to wear after seeing God. Or how afraid Israel was to face him...and it's not because we are messing up, it's because James and I both feel at peace. I feel excited, and a little anxious. Because I've never felt this comfortable with something before. Especially something this big and important, as giving a child a life of good parenting and loving support that otherwise he or she may not have.

Ok and now for motivation, first load of laundry is in. I need to shower, vacuum, pack, clean kitchen, and have everything ready for us to leave in the morning! Busy day tomorrow...and OH SO EXCITED!