)= Feeling ridiculously cranky & moody in general

I can tell you, I can vent with the best of them. I can spew venom like a christian isn't supposed to. And I know these things are NOT good for me, my heart, or my relationship with God. Yet, I cannot express how hard it is to know that others are getting pregnant while I am getting bad news back about ovulation. A problem my husband doesn't want me to go on medicine for because of potential side effects.

It makes me want to scream. It makes me furious at times when people that have been pregnant before do not know you cannot take ibuprofen when pregnant, and thus should avoid when TTC. Hello? Make a connection. When trying to get pregnant you need to treat your body as you are pregnant. Watch what fish you eat, stop drinking, at the very least from ovulation on, don't smoke, try to eat healthier, take prenatals, the list goes on! When people don't do this it drives me insane!

I have been bad, such an emotional eater yesterday. Belly was fullest it has been in probably about a year. And it was constantly full. I couldn't help from shoving food into my face. Popcorn, Zehnder's chicken, lunch @ tony's, more popcorn, did I mention one of those Tostino's pizza things? I was disgusting yesterday. So much so that my sister thought I was pregnant. NEGATIVE.

I have two negative tests to prove it. And thinking that I am about done testing for this cycle because I am starting to get my usual cramps. And I got information from the Dr. I don't ovulate good eggs! YAY... =*( I could scream! I figured it probably was going to show such. So I should focus on feeling blessed that my prolactin and TSH are normal. (but I'm not feeling it as such at the moment).

James is out mowing the lawn and having issues with lawn mower not wanting to keep going. We are borrowing it. It seems everything breaks down when we borrow, so if we ask to borrow something of yours I won't be offended if you say no. *sigh* I can hear him going again though, so it means he fixed it. Which is one thing I love about my husband, he can usually figure out what is wrong and fix it. And if he can't fix it, we have handy friends and family that can.

You know what else is sad? I had a good vacation, in spite of sister in law's (normal) unruly mood swings, until yesterday. I could spew venom here, but I won't. I will keep that for close friends that won't judge, and love me regardless. Yet, what I was going to say is...I feel more exhausted now that before the vacation. not at all revived or rejuvenated. I want a weekend with James. and that's not for another 4.5 weeks.

I made phone calls this morning to Sparrow Lab, My Dr, and the Foster Care specialist. I did good with 1/3. I at least got my levels for my labs. Called Dr. Talked to nurse and she told me 2 were normal, and that she needed to double check with my Dr about our plan of action for poor/lack of ovulation. They said James's SA probably won't be back for a week (!What? Seriously? Must mean it was good, because they said they wouldn't run it if it was bad simply because of the poor instruction we were given!) Plus now I also get to wait for foster care lady to call back. When I am feeling incredibly impatient and cranky.

Grrrr....