Blessed

I have to tell you how Blessed I am to have a church that listens to ideas, and allows you to be part of them. On Mother’s Day I wanted to some how allow all women to be part of it. I believe as women we all have that nurturing heart (ok, the majority). The heart that played with baby dolls and played house as a child. We all crave to be a mom in some little spot of our hearts. Yet, life happens, and it doesn’t always happen the way we wish it would.

There are single women that assumed they would get married and have children of their own. Are they not to celebrate Mother’s Day? Are they to be left out? Are we supposed to allow their hearts to ache? NO, these women are spiritual mothers. Do they not pray for their nieces and nephews? Do they not pray for their friend’s children? Do they not get asked advice on parenting when parents are going crazy? Hello, wake up! They are mothers too, mothers who have not labored. Mothers whose hearts might be crying out because they want children of their own, a husband, and all that goes with that. Isaiah 54: says 

"“Sing, barren woman,
   you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
   you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
   than of her who has a husband,”
            says the LORD. ”

What about the couple facing infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, or loss from a failed adoption. Are they not parents? Do they not cry out for their loss? Are they not trying for children? Have they not prayed for their children? Do they not pray for yours? Do not belittle them by not allowing the married woman without children to not feel as if she is not a mother. Her heart cries out to be a mother, her HEART. It doesn’t matter what the world says, if a person’s heart wants to be a mother, is she not motherly? Does she not mother other children’s babies?  Does she not have children in heaven from miscarriage or stillbirth?

At church on Sunday we had a panel of four women speak on this topic. Mothers. Spiritual Mothers, Mothers facing loss, Traditional Mothers, and Grand Mothers.

It was an amazing experience. The welcome arms that I felt after telling my story, the tears that I saw fall from women’s cheeks. The healing that I think took place. I think God moved. But, my heart cries out in pray for a couple I saw rush out of the church soon after I started talking. I know their pain, even if I do not know their exact pain. I hope they come back to church, and I get a chance to befriend them. Until that day, my prayers are for them. That God will work miracles, that they will be healed, that they will have a child of their own. Bless them Lord, if by your will open her womb or allow a smooth adoption process. May your will be done. Both for them and for James and I.

And the stories that I was told about infertility and miscarriage. Why is this such a taboo topic? Why do we as women suffer in silence? Before this weekend I knew of three other women besides myself at the church that had experienced infertility or miscarriage. After this weekend I was made aware of at least five more women that had to walk the rocky road. And how many had hurtful things said to them FROM FAMILY. From CHRISTIANS. Open your hearts, think before you speak, this is what I implore you to do. If you have said hurtful things unintentionally, I hope God makes you aware of them so you can apologize to the one hurting.

And can I tell you something that truly made me burst from the brim inside? A woman in our church, a dear friend that in the past had a miscarriage and suffered alone, one that I thought for sure wouldn’t think it was a good idea me telling our congregation (Simply for the fact that now people know we are trying, and months of trying with people asking can become very tiresome). She came up to me afterwards, tears drying up in her eyes, and told me I did good, that she was proud of me. It felt SO good. It built me up, gave me more courage. If you don’t give friends complements, do so. Because if you are not building them up, you are tearing them down. And this weekend, I was built up.

Another thing that truly warmed my heart? James’s reaction. After telling me that I would be the one crying in front of every one, I did good. God gave me the peace, courage, and strength to get through with only a few speckles of tears. James on the other hand, I think he experienced some healing. Healing in the form of tears. I saw them start to flow, I tried winking at him, our secret sign that means, “I love you, it will be okay.” Then he disappeared for awhile. To pull himself together. I love that my husband shows emotion, even if he hates it. He is an amazing man, a thoughtful friend, and so much more. He is going to make an amazing father. I know this in my heart.

With this long reflection, I will let you go. I have to tell you, it is amazing to think about all the more people praying for us. Thank you God! Thank you friends! Thank you blog followers! Thank you for your prayers, and support. Even if you are lurking amongst the pages of this blog anonymously, thank you for your prayers. Yet, know that even the anonymous can leave comments of encouragement or thoughts on topics.

Love all of you, have a blessed week!

♥ Jess

 Written May 9, 2011 @ 11:58 PM