it is such a good feeling when you connect with someone, someone that knows you pain. That can sympathize fully even if they do not understand 100% what the pain would be like if it is your own. These sorts of people are a blessing.
James and I sat down with a couple today to talk about all things infertility and foster parenting. It was such a blessing. They answered questions I was wondering, and gave me courage & faith to know things will work out. Right now I believe God is working on a child for James and us in the foster system, and for plans for us to conceive. Right now I am still clinging to the hope that both will happen for us.
But, my focus is now going to turn from pain and ttc to trying to get this foster parenting journey started. I think I'm going to do OPKs and have sex whenever it is James feels compelled instead of marking it on the calendar that we need to have an appointment in the bedroom on this this and this day. Bring on the spontaneous married passionate sex, instead of the methodical "lets do it again tonight and hope we are making a baby" sex. Sorry if this is TMI, but I can tell you when TTC often times it feels like work. You have to have sex even when you don't feel compelled at times. It feels too scientific and calculated. Not spontaneous and romantic.
I am excited at the thought of bringing children into our home. I am feeling compelled to finish painting the house. Including the future children's room. I want to make this house nice. We need pictures up. To steam clean the carpets again. We need to clean out the garage. I'm also starting to think about getting our house child safe. Makes my heart smile! I have faith within the next year we will have a child (or children!) in our home.
Am I crazy for wanting to do this when school will (hopefully) be starting up? I don't think so. We have friends & can find day care if necessary. James with be on first (hopefully) in June. And if I don't get into the program this next spring at least I will have time to get adjusted to our future children (though I would be disappointed...)
Anyways, I am excited. And feeling blessed. Not going to let people that do not understand bring me down! =D
Often things strike my heart and want to come bursting forth. They come spilling out onto the page, or computer screen. With ink filling pages or my fingers flying across the keyboard, my mind going a million miles a minute, and my heart crying out to be heard. Here is where you’ll find those things, my little notes on life.
Little Bit About Me
- Jess
- First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.
Thank you for sharing your heart on my blog this morning. {{{hug}}}
ReplyDelete