Day 3: Your first love
Let me tell you a little about love. You know when you were little and boys had "cooties" I didn't believe this. I chased them around the playground. Had "boyfriends" starting in fourth grade. My first kiss was forced upon me in DK by another little boy on the playground. End result: Chicken pocks.
Bryan Tryon, James Hyatt, Adam F, Scott K, Adam F, Scott K, Terry A Michael L....Andy F, Scott K, Scott K, James Hillard. There is my list of "loves"
I can tell you with Bryan it was the cutesy pie school girl love.
And sames with James Hyatt. My heart was crushed when his mom told him (in front of my friends) that I was too tall and too ugly to be dating her son.
There was Kris too, a friend's brother. We made out, in fifth grade.
Adam F - 5th grade sweetheart (lol) Our first kiss was flavored by orange tic tacs. He was my first dance.
Terry A - first boy to say "I love you" too me that I didn't say it back. All he wanted was sex. We were in 7th grade.
Andy F - short lived relationship, that was almost revisited in high school. Debated between trying to date him or my husband, I'd say I made the right choice =)
Michael L - He was a romantic, even in middle school, I think I still have some of his letters. He grew up to be a good guy. We don't talk much now, but have lots of fun band memories =)
And then there was Scott. I feel back on Scott more times than I can count. He was the first person that I really thought I loved, but I think I was in love with the thought of love. Maybe. Or a different kind of love. I don't want to invalidate our relationship. But, I do have to say, I think he loved me more than I loved him. And that is hard. His mom and my mom both thought we were going to get married. We dated off and on through middle school and high school. Had almost ever year together in elementary school.
I loved him, enough to give him my virginity. And have my heart crushed. But, I think his broke more. I could have a whole blog about Scott. I was not a christian at that time in my life, and did not behave as such when with Scott. I think if I had known Christ, maybe I wouldn't have given my body to him. Maybe if my father had been a good influence, I wouldn't have felt like I needed a man in my life. Maybe if my Mom hadn't told me "Sex wasn't anything big." I would have waited. Maybe. Just maybe.
Fast forward to now, I will say the first real long love of my life is James. I don't know where I would be without him. I am so blessed that he showed up to band camp my senior year. I promise to write a blog about how we got together. But for now, sleep. Then church in the morning.
Have a wonderful night
♥ Jess
Often things strike my heart and want to come bursting forth. They come spilling out onto the page, or computer screen. With ink filling pages or my fingers flying across the keyboard, my mind going a million miles a minute, and my heart crying out to be heard. Here is where you’ll find those things, my little notes on life.
Little Bit About Me
- Jess
- First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.
Jess, I'm glad you ending up with James...Scott was...well...Scotty. Its hard to picture you with anybody else because I know James makes you happy and (this is going to sound cliche) completes you. :)
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