I checked my Bible verse of the day today, and staring back at me was Proverbs 22:6.
"Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."
I fought hard to hold it together, but a few tears escaped. I cried out to God and said to Him, "Lord let this be true, give me a chance. My heart is breaking at the chance of never having this opportunity." Then he gently reminded me, without promise of our own little one, that I do help raise children in the way they should go. Even when they are not my own flesh and blood. I have worked in children's ministry, at a day care, and have prayed for all of the kids I have worked with at some point.
With my current cycle being crazy, and making me think my body is going crazier and crazier. And I'm trying not to fear. And have more faith. But another proverb rang forth in my ears after reading the one above...
Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."
I read a devotion that talked about making sure your plans were God's plans. If only he would shout it out to me instead of small whispers along the way. Currently I'm crampy. Not spotting, except for random pinkish/yellow. So I'm at a point of wondering and waiting. The life of a woman trying to conceive, I tell ya...it is a roller coaster.
Often things strike my heart and want to come bursting forth. They come spilling out onto the page, or computer screen. With ink filling pages or my fingers flying across the keyboard, my mind going a million miles a minute, and my heart crying out to be heard. Here is where you’ll find those things, my little notes on life.
Little Bit About Me
- Jess
- First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.
a roller coaster indeed!!!
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