Facebook & Trip to Meijer.

So facebook today I have currently 1 newly born baby updates, 1 who just announced pregnancy (at least she is 3 months almost), another 26 weeks, another just passed her due date, and thankfully another woman I know is pregnant but not blowing up my feed with baby gaga. Then there are the under 1 year olds (oiy). Let's just call it BabyBook instead of facebook.

Then I go to Meijer and they double coupons, and wipes were 2 bucks. And I had a coupon for 50 cents. BUT I couldn't get mysellf to buy it....because I didn't want to "jinx" anything. Really? How irrational! First of alll one dollar for wipes that can be used for other things is a steal! 2 I really dont believe in jinxes NOR do I think I can bbecome more "jinxed" if it was a real possibility. 3. I realized baby aisles are still way depressing for me.

Idk for sure how many dpo I am, assuming about 6. Crampy/pulling on right side still. Not trying to get excited, but feeling it and hope bbubbling up inside. Could God bbless us this month? Yes. Will he? I cannot tell you.

17 months. 17 months of a roller coaster where things such as facebook and the grocery store can flip a switch in you like *snap* that!

Tonight I even passed the hpts and thought to myself, you are going to need one this cycle. Is it God or wishful thinking. Idk a week or so will tell, but until then I am going to work on keeping my pessimistic annoyed attitude down, and bring up the joyful optimistic Jessica.

I have a BIG God. He can move mountains. But as other have talked about maybe God hasnt granted us a baby yet because he has better plans for us. Maybe we are meant for something more. Maybe our future child is meant for something more. I have to cling to hope, and during this time I chose to remain faithful to God and do my darndest to do all I can to follow his will in my life.