I am stressed to the max. I don't know if I should explain the main reason or not...so I think I will wait.
All I can ask is for prayer. Help me to be able to relax and realize God is in control of EVERYTHING. School included.
To summarize without telling the whole situation, I got dragged into a situation because I was naive, didn't trust my initial gut feeling, and wasn't aware of certain things. Now there is going to be a big investigation at school about it.
Right before spring break.
Now all I can think of is school. What could happen. And how angry I am at myself for allowing to be dragged into the mess.
I will say one thing, I was honest and open. And I can live with that. I just pray that God allows me and the group of girls to continue on in the program and in the class. My stomach is churning.
But I have an amazing husband who sent me a text basically saying, Satan couldn't bring you down with the miscarriage, so he had to attack you in another way. It brought tears to my eyes, because he is right. And guess what, if God is for me, then NOTHING can stop me. I will keep my prayers up, and continue to remember that God is in control. I am meant to be a nurse, I KNOW this. If God is for me, then NOTHING can stop me. This will be my mantra.
But that doesn't mean that my heart doesn't skip a beat occasionally, knots don't appear in my tummy, and freak out mode doesn't ensue.
Prayers please!!
For the situation above.
For my father who is still in the hospital.
For my tolerance of Michael.
For Michael to start acting more responsible.
For this cycle. I should be past O, and I have been having some major cramping still...I still have EWCM...for the past week. So idk what is going on, but I am trusting God. (CD 20 today, will test somewhere around CD34 if AF hasn't made her appearance).
Often things strike my heart and want to come bursting forth. They come spilling out onto the page, or computer screen. With ink filling pages or my fingers flying across the keyboard, my mind going a million miles a minute, and my heart crying out to be heard. Here is where you’ll find those things, my little notes on life.
Little Bit About Me
- Jess
- First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.
Praying very hard for you, sweetie. You don't need anymore stress right now <3 Big hugs
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear things have been so rough for you lately. Hoping things start to turn around for you soon!
ReplyDeleteAnd - thank you so much for checking in on me! I'm back among the living now and trying to catch up. It was just so nice to know that someone missed me!
Always praying for you, Jess. Especially keeping the school situation in my prayers. *hugs*
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