Little Bit About Me

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First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.

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CAUTION

All writing in this blog is unedited and 100% from what I am feeling at the time. By continuing to read it means that you will take my vents with a grain of salt. You will choose to not take offense. And most of all, if you know me in real life you will either choose to stop reading or keep the knowledge of this blog quiet, and privately allow me to know you are reading. I only share this information with close friends. I do not share this with facebook for a purpose: it is meant to be semi-private. Not "public" knowledge in the sense of the majority of those in real life knowing about it. If you can accept all that has been stated, sit back, grab a box of tissues, and be prepared to endure the rocky road of trying to conceive while trying to get out of the shadows of infertility.

If you have any private questions or concerns you may contact me at mynotesonttc at gmail.com



♥

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Calm after the storm

Now that I am a few days into my cycle I can honestly say I am doing good. I do think about the due dates I will never experience.

July 18, 2011
September 9, 2011
March 4, 2012

RIP little babies. Mommy will see you in heaven. I hope you are in the arms of other women the experienced loss in Heaven, so that even after death women are comforting those who have walked the same shoes. The thought of this makes my heart smile. My cousin Samantha is hanging out with our babies. And so is Hannah, I hope she is passing on her story of infertility to my children so they can know how wanted they truly were.

How wanted they are. And will forever be. My arms and womb will always ache, missing the chance to see them grow up. Yet, I know they will never have to know the pain of this world. They themselves will never have a scabbed up knee, broken heart, or have to experience the raw pain and emotions that come with fertility struggles. And for that they are blessed, and so am I because I do not have to witness them going through such pain.

I still pray for the chance to carry a baby (ok babies!) to term. A healthy baby, one that will grow up and I will get to see God move in their lives. See them get married. See them on their knees praying to God. To teach them the Way and know that they will follow the path and see their siblings in heaven.

More thoughts on this, but a little later.
♥ Jess

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1 comment:

  1. -cass-July 3, 2011 at 7:37 PM

    I wish I could hug you and take your pain away and give you one chance. You're in my prayers everyday Jess. I love you and I'm here for you to lean on.

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