Hi guys, I did change my URL I hope you figured it out....when I did guess what the captcha read? bless
bless
Am I blessed? Will I be blessed?
Am I pregnant and haven't had a positive test yet?
Will I be pregnant next month?
I have cramps. Feeling like AF cramps.I took a nap, a 2 hour nap. I had 6 hours of sleep last night, which is my normal. So I can say that I am fatigued. Ta-tas still hurt.
I am trying to not think about it, but failing miserably. I am doing laundry. On load 3, and in need of doing 2 more. I need to do dishes. I am watching House while doing all of this. Then I have plans tonight, hanging out with my sister and Jenny.
What else do I need to do? I truly need to work on James's resume. He is planning on applying for a new job. The problem? His old resume is MIA, lost on a flash drive. Might be on MIL's computer still...so after this episode that is my next stop. I hope God blesses us with that job, if it is what is meant to be. It is the job he wanted before he took the position at the feed mill. If he was given the other job, he would have first shift. Now, not having to wait until next July. He would get a pay raise, instead of having to wait until February (and getting a much lower pay raise). He would still have good benefits. He would be away from the grain dust. He would be active instead of sitting in front of a computer, he would be outside, instead of in an office. He would be less miserable with life because he wouldn't be on second shift. But guess what? This brings about more waiting. And possibly guilt because the busy season is coming up at work. Nothing is ever perfect in our eyes, but it always happens to fit into God's plan...even if we never understand it.
Because we could get pregnant. We could have a baby. I would be blessed to be a mommy. James would be blessed to be a Daddy. Money would be tight, but emotionally we would be relaxed because the stress of TTC would be gone. But we could potentially be stressed, if I get into school, if money is really tight, if life is hectic. But isn't life just like that now? without a baby in the mix? I would rather the stress come from finally having a little one and having prayers answered instead of it coming from being in limbo while waiting for prayers to be answered. If James got this other job, the pay raise would help (exponentially). I have faith, things will work out. I just wish my timeline was the same as God's. But it hasn't matched up thus far...so who knows for sure when it will?
Praying for good news soon. For blessings. For answered prayers. For hope to swell up within all of us.
Praying, and hoping. And waiting.
♥ Jess
Often things strike my heart and want to come bursting forth. They come spilling out onto the page, or computer screen. With ink filling pages or my fingers flying across the keyboard, my mind going a million miles a minute, and my heart crying out to be heard. Here is where you’ll find those things, my little notes on life.
Little Bit About Me
- Jess
- First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.
found you! :) I'll be praying for you and your husband that he gets the new job sounds like it would be ideal...
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about timelines not matching up. I think I mentioned it over in my blog, but before Thurman came home from Turkey we couldn't decide if we should try right away or wait a year...we decided to try right away without praying about it or really talking it through, God obviously had other plans because literally a year later we were pregnant :)
I know a TTC woman really doesn't like to hear this, but give it time and it WILL happen!! My friend had been TTC for 4 years and finally just got pregnant with her rainbow baby :)
Agh! I thought you deleted your blog! Have you talked to anyone about the competetive openings for the program? You would have to take the TEASE(?), but it would mean you start sooner.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! :)
I already took the TEAS test. I am hoping to get a competitive spot. I scored just as well as a girl that got a competitive spot for full time so just have to wait and see still =(
ReplyDeleteAlso Jill- I do know it is in Gods timing but sometimes it feels like if it is his timing then why the heck the losses? If not pregnant in next 2 months (if in RN program) we will be done TTC for about 2 years. It is hard to think about starting this TTC journey again with all the struggles 2 years from now without a child still. Our hopes were to be trying for #2 when I was done with school. It sucks to think about...
Oh yeah. I think you said that before... Blah! I wish you would find out sooner! lol :)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean Jess, I often ask if it was God's time to get pregnannt now then why did I suffer the 2 miscarriages. I still find myself a little angry about it even now...I don't think it will ever make sense.
ReplyDeleteI thought you were gone, but I finally found ya. I feel like we will be short on money no matter what b/c we will find something to spend it on, but I would rather spend it on a baby. I am praying for the both of us.
ReplyDelete