Darker OPK, Prayers, and More.

I got an even darker OPK at 3 this morning. SO I think it is safe to say I O'd this morning (as it is light again). So one more chance to try for this cycle and then I will try not to obsess over any "symptoms" and leave it up to whatever the test says near the end of my wait.

AF should be here the 30th or 31st. Don't worry, if I get pregnant, I am sure you all will be the first to know. Besides a few texts to friends that I know will pray for me and my future child. I am thinking some close friends and maybe family will know around 6 or 8 weeks simply because I would like to celebrate my future pregnancies. Instead of it being a, "Surprise, I was pregnant!" after I miscarry.

I am praying this month will be it. Then we can stop TTC for a long while. Please dear God bless us. Bless us by placing your hand on my body and allowing for conception to take place. Allow for a healthy spot in my womb to be the home for my future child. Help the child to be 100% healthy with no diseases or defects. Help me to hold the next baby that I will get pregnant with. Jesus, I know I have struggled recently with this journey I am on. Forgive me for wanting to throw in the towel on all of it. I know that you are the reason for life itself. So I am asking for abundant blessings in the form of children. In Jesus name, Amen.

Can I share another little aspect that has been tugging on my heart. I know I said I wanted to do foster care. To adopt. (Can I mention that our county STILL hasn't called me back, so I am wondering if this door too is being shut to us, or if I need to be more persistent) The two things that have been on the "NO way" list has been domestic infant and international adoption for me. It's expensive, a large process, and something that I never felt the draw to. Until recently, the tug to get a little girl from China. Why China? Because of their practice of late term abortion, especially on little girls. It tugs at my heart. I would love to help the brave souls that carry their baby to term instead of getting an abortion in that society. So maybe our family will be mixed with biological, foster care children, and a little one adopted from China. If the China thing comes to pass, we will definitely need some help. I have seen several fundraiser ideas that we will implement if that truly is a route we are meant to go down.

One other little factoid. I heard a quote on the radio station a few days ago stating that Planned Parenthood believes we should become more like China. And have a 1 child maximum. Because if we do not abort fetuses after that point we will be over populated in a short time. Seriously. And this is our great resource for unplanned pregnancy? I think not. It makes me sick. I watched a video on abortion in the U.S. It disgusted me. To think I crave to have a child so desperately bad and their are so many women that choose to end their child's life. It makes me sick to my stomach that they have been taught the lie and believe that abortion is their best, or only, choice. Because honestly, I think it takes more of a woman to go through the pregnancy and put them up for adoption than to have an abortion. An abortion is something that seems like a "quick fix" at the time. Yet they will have to deal with later in life. The fact that they killed that child. Regardless of religion as Planned Parenthood states. But with adoption you have to experience pregnancy. Go through labor. People will see you pregnant. And then the mother says good bye to a child she actually gets to SEE. That is love. To know you cannot or do not want to provide for that little being and still choosing life for them. It is a blessing to the adoptive family and that little boy or girl.

I'll step off my soap box. Time to go wake up my husband in hopes of procreating! tehe =P

♥ Jess