Blue Sort of Day

Or maybe I should say white? Because today is the first snow fall for my area in Michigan. And can I say BOO to that? UGH! We STILL do not have our heat hooked up mind you. So we are heating based on 2 electric heaters. Which are doing wonderful, but it is still chilly in here. Definitely blanket and hoodie weather.

But I am just down today. No more baby story. James is getting into watching it. I think he is hopeful that it will happen for us soon, but I am quickly loosing hope. One year after first miscarriage and no baby still. 17 months of ttc without any truly good news.

I am glad we decided to skip out on HSG this month. My student loans have decided to go out of deferment and now battling with them trying to get them deferred so I don't have to pay on them for 2 months before I start school again. And THEN learned that one I can't deffer for longer than 5 years. And guess what? This coming April will be 5 years. So in the midst of school and working less I will have to figure out how to budget another 100 in for student loans. Joy.

Our dog also hurt his back. Or that is the conclusion for now. He is eating still when I put wet food mixed in with his dry, and I watched to make sure he did his business this morning (#2). But I am still nervous and worried about my boy. He is so not himself. He is sad and depressed looking, and just lays there. We spent 150 on updating his vaccines and different sort of medicines. We have anti-yeast, anti-inflammatory, steroid, and a muscle relaxant. We also need to still buy a powder to sprinkle on his hot spots, which freaked me out a little bit when doctor said they are like small staph infections. And we are taking him to get his teeth cleaned at the end of this month. His gums are inflamed and he has major tartar build up. I feel like a bad mommy for not noticing. So the 30th they will put him under and do the cleaning.

Poor guy. He is our baby, and I just want him better! For now we have to carry him up/down stairs and are not allowing him on furniture for fear of him jumping off and hurting himself. At night we are putting him in his kennel instead of in the room with us. Which he doesn't seem to mind too much because that is where he is sleeping at the moment.

While at the vet I decided to get a quote to update the cats vaccines and such. I told James we need to keep up on that stuff before I will allow us to get a puppy. So he is gung ho for doing it now, if only we had the pellet stove installed already...then I would say yes. We still need to get our furnace checked over, pellet stove installed, and fuel oil filled for just in case. And so far this month we have spent the money that would have filled the fuel oil tank on much needed glasses for James (his glasses are so scratched he is getting headaches and having a hard time seeing at night...which isn't good because he drives home at 1am) and the vet. Oh well, God will provide....right? *sigh*

Because of money I picked up Thanksgiving night. I wouldn't have money to go shopping this year on Black Friday anyways, so might as well have a bigger pay check. Have I mentioned it is 6 days til my birthday too, and not even sure we will have the $ to celebrate that. Feeling like whoop di freakin' doo. I will be 24. 24 and dreaming of being a Mom. Hopefully my 24th year will bring better things to me than my 23rd.

Cheers! (notice sarcasm).

Sorry I am a downer.

I will be back to my normal not so blue self soon, hopefully.