Little Bit About Me

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First and foremost, I am a Christian woman: I love Jesus! In this blog you will find stories of trying to conceive with PCOS, MTHFR, Poor egg quality, a unicornuate uteterus, and too many babies in heaven. It is a good thing God is the ultimate healer! Here you will find praise! and you may also find venting (I'm not perfect...) and you will find other stories of my crazy life. All the while through this journey I am holding on to scripture & hoping to one day be a mother here on Earth (waiting on God & His perfect timing...why am I so impatient?) But in the meantime, here you will find me: Jessica, loving wife, hopeful heart of a mother, and faithful friend.

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CAUTION

All writing in this blog is unedited and 100% from what I am feeling at the time. By continuing to read it means that you will take my vents with a grain of salt. You will choose to not take offense. And most of all, if you know me in real life you will either choose to stop reading or keep the knowledge of this blog quiet, and privately allow me to know you are reading. I only share this information with close friends. I do not share this with facebook for a purpose: it is meant to be semi-private. Not "public" knowledge in the sense of the majority of those in real life knowing about it. If you can accept all that has been stated, sit back, grab a box of tissues, and be prepared to endure the rocky road of trying to conceive while trying to get out of the shadows of infertility.

If you have any private questions or concerns you may contact me at mynotesonttc at gmail.com



♥

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Cramps and Emotions

I had a break down tonight. Texting with a friend, I just broke down and bawled.

My heart hurts. I am 99.9% sure this cycle is another failure. I have horrible cramps. I am on my way to work, but had to update.

I am so sure af is coming that I wanted a panty liner. Could I find one? Nope...so I had to wear a freaking pad. A pad. And I haven't even started yet. No spotting, but cramps like AF should be in full force.

Only a few more months and then I am done ttc for a long while. I can't take this any longer. I give up. I know I am meant to be a mom, but maybe pregnancy isn't the way it will happen for me.

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1 comment:

  1. Ashley's Journey In LifeNovember 4, 2011 at 12:03 PM

    my heart hurts for you. i understand your breakdowns...hence mine the other day. this nightmare is nothing i would wish upon my enemy. i wish there was a magic pill to make it all better and give us that baby we want so desperately.

    i am not even hopeful this cycle. im still bbt'ing and using opks but i will NOT let hope in my mind at all. (fingers crossed i can stick to it)

    ((HUGS)) ♥

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